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" Some people think the world will end in 2012. I think we've got until 2014. I'm an optimist. "

Garry Shandling

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" It takes me so long to get tired of a man. It's women that are the problem. Don't get me wrong. I think men have their problems just as much as women. "

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" Humor is a wonderful way to deal with our suffering because if we can laugh at our troubles, we can feel better. Thich Nhat Hanh is a special man who has helped millions with their suffering with incredible technique. But he doesn't know real suffering, because he has not dated as much as I have. "

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" I think I look great in green, and I'm going to start wearing more green. "

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" It's not the hair on your head that matters. It's the kind of hair you have inside. "

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" I like going into nature and that's where I'm happiest. "

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" I've been on a state of high alert since high school. I didn't need 9/11 to remind me that we live on a ball of flame. "

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" I am pretty tenacious as a perfectionist in terms of getting something right. "

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" Dr. Phil is hiding something. Otherwise, why wouldn't he use his last name? "

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" First of all, I'm not the kind of guy that likes to rehash the show and so forth and so on. "

Garry Shandling

" I think sometimes I should do more carousing, because I don't do much and maybe it would be fun occasionally. It's hard for me to have fun and I'm a serious thinker and a searcher and funny from the front. "

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" Men who betray women also betray other men. Women shouldn't feel so special. "

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" I think it's one of the main negative emotional ingredients that fuels show business, because there's so much at stake and the fear of failure looms large. "

Garry Shandling

" I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead. "

Garry Shandling

" My first appearance as a guest on The Tonight Show was in '81. "

Garry Shandling

" 'The Larry Sanders Show,' it's actually about love, which would sound like a paradox at first. But if that love didn't exist, the darker attitudes would not play. You would have a one-dimensional, cynical show, which I don't think the show was. "

Garry Shandling

" I've always felt that the truth is in the silence. "

Garry Shandling

" You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't. "

Garry Shandling

" I've never had anyone put on a puppet show to convince me of anything. And I've done a lot of stuff. I don't know that I would put the puppets on when I was pitching a show. This was the head of the studio putting a puppet show on. And I'll tell you, he wasn't bad. "

Garry Shandling

" My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me. "

Garry Shandling

" There's a good chance that if you're talking to me when I'm snoring, it means I'm bored. "

Garry Shandling

" Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is. "

Garry Shandling

" I practice safe sex - I use an airbag. "

Garry Shandling

" I'm not a party guy. I don't carouse very much. "

Garry Shandling

" Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders. "

Garry Shandling

" I watch the news, which is its own reality show. I love 'Curb Your Enthusiasm.' I love it because it's funny and because I realize that I'm happier than Larry David. "

Garry Shandling

" I guess he wanted to see a little more sexual activity because in real life, in bed I think less is more and let the woman come to me. Frankly, I don't even need a woman there. "

Garry Shandling

" I feel that everything I do in my life I can do in a shorter time than most men can. It's the quality, not the quantity. "

Garry Shandling

" My second or third year in the engineering department, I got very frustrated, and I sat down with myself and had a soul-searching conversation with myself and said, 'What I'd really like to do is see if I can write comedy.' ... I moved to L.A. stone cold. Didn't know anybody; didn't know how to go about it. Really started from scratch. "

Garry Shandling

" I have spent a lot of time studying the issue of relationships, how I grew up, my parents' influence on me. I've talked to a therapist,; I've looked inward spiritually at myself, and what it seems to come down to is that I'm a Sagittarius. Please don't make me reveal more than that. It's tough enough as it is. "

Garry Shandling

" Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive. "

Garry Shandling