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" My second or third year in the engineering department, I got very frustrated, and I sat down with myself and had a soul-searching conversation with myself and said, 'What I'd really like to do is see if I can write comedy.' ... I moved to L.A. stone cold. Didn't know anybody; didn't know how to go about it. Really started from scratch. "

Garry Shandling

Myself

Know

Conversation

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" I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know. "

" I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead. "

" Here's the thing - I'm single, I haven't been married, I don't have kids yet. If I do have kids I would be interested to see them in my life, so here's a movie for kids and I'm in there and I'm supposed to be kind of funny for kids. "

" I started boxing for exercise, and on the very first day, the trainer got in the ring with me and said, 'Whoever controls the breathing in the ring controls the fight.' I immediately passed out. "

" I'd like to do more acting. "

Garry Shandling

Acting

" 'The Larry Sanders Show,' it's actually about love, which would sound like a paradox at first. But if that love didn't exist, the darker attitudes would not play. You would have a one-dimensional, cynical show, which I don't think the show was. "

" I feel that everything I do in my life I can do in a shorter time than most men can. It's the quality, not the quantity. "

" I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it. "

" Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is. "

" Everyone at a party is uncomfortable. Knowing that makes me more comfortable. "

" I watch the news, which is its own reality show. I love 'Curb Your Enthusiasm.' I love it because it's funny and because I realize that I'm happier than Larry David. "

" When I give notes on a script, I say, 'Guys, I may drift, but it's part of the process.' So I'm aware that I'm drifting, but I'm grabbing a lot of stuff. "

" Nobody can write better jokes putting me down than me. "

Garry Shandling

Nobody

Jokes

" It takes me so long to get tired of a man. It's women that are the problem. Don't get me wrong. I think men have their problems just as much as women. "

" But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and I think I'm funny behind the desk when interviewing someone. "

" Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders. "

" When I don't have a good time, it's usually because there's a stiffness that stifles creativity. "

" I think it's one of the main negative emotional ingredients that fuels show business, because there's so much at stake and the fear of failure looms large. "

" I don't know how to ground myself without the other actor present. "

" First of all, I'm not the kind of guy that likes to rehash the show and so forth and so on. "

" Which is, I'm an optimist that two people can be together to work out their conflicts. And that commitment, I think, might be what love is, because they both grow from their relationship. "

" My first appearance as a guest on The Tonight Show was in '81. "

" I have this very abstract idea in my head. I wouldn't even want to call it stand-up, because stand-up conjures in one's mind a comedian with a microphone standing onstage under a spotlight telling jokes to an audience. The direction I'm going in is eventually, you won't know if it's a joke or not. "

" Humor is a wonderful way to deal with our suffering because if we can laugh at our troubles, we can feel better. Thich Nhat Hanh is a special man who has helped millions with their suffering with incredible technique. But he doesn't know real suffering, because he has not dated as much as I have. "

" Women need to know that not all guys are going to hurt them the way that the guy did before they started dating me. I know guys I wouldn't go out with. "

Garry Shandling

Hurt

Need

" Men who betray women also betray other men. Women shouldn't feel so special. "

" The only way I would go back to hosting would be if it were something entirely new. It would prevent me from wanting to host a standard-fare kind of talk show. "

" You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't. "

" I practice safe sex - I use an airbag. "

" I actually think I'm more of a turtle than Verne is. Where Verne is up on two legs and moving at full speed and doesn't pull his head into the shell very often, I in reality was five or ten minutes later to every recording session. "