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" I am somewhat grateful to the disintegration of my marriage for teaching me a lot about myself and about relationships, and though I wish it hadn't been such a taxing lesson, I wouldn't change a thing. "

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" There's nothing like listening to the drone of QVC's always-bubbly pitchwomen, as they try to move loose-fitting tunics with 'just the right amount of sparkle,' to soothe you into a healing slumber. "

Emily V. Gordon

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" If a show is a critical success but a ratings flop, I assume that people are just championing the show because it looks cool to root for an underdog. "

" I have multiple tattoos. "

Emily V. Gordon

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" Marriage will not change your spouse. It will not make him or her more mature, more loyal to you, or better at housework. "

" I have a pretty intense work ethic. If something's not done, I cannot let go until I get it done. "

Emily V. Gordon

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" If you don't simply communicate with your spouse what household tasks you would like them to do, you are setting yourself up to be angry. "

Emily V. Gordon

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" When we each focus on being the dominant force in our own universe rather than invading other universes, we all win. "

" Your wedding day is supposed to be your big day, and yet a lot of engaged couples find that instead of creating an event that will be important to them, they're dodging through a minefield of modern etiquette traps. "

" Marriage, even a happy and successful one, can be extremely stressful, but that stress is worth it if you're marrying the best person for you. "

" Everybody's got baggage, and not just the classic, 'Oh I have so much baggage,' but everyone comes with so much context, and you're not just dating a person: you're dating all their context, too. Part of relationships is negotiating each other's context. "

" Betrayal can be extremely painful, but it's up to you how much that pain damages you permanently. "

Emily V. Gordon

Betrayal

You

" Burlesque dancing didn't solve all my post-divorce problems, but what it did do was force me to court myself for a little while. "

" Dealing with wedding stuff is a bit of a double-edged sword - it seems that divorcees are expected to either burn it all on the front lawn, tears silently coursing down their faces, or keep the stuff, shrine-like, concealed somewhere in their homes. "

" Awkward conversations are painful, but they're way easier than divorce, resentment, and heartbreak. "

" Unequivocally, individual human beings who live together will always have different standards of what a 'clean house' looks like. "

" Marriage, or any committed partnership, has become sacred to me, powerful and fragile all at the same time. "

Emily V. Gordon

Powerful

Time

" Don't sacrifice alone time with your spouse just because the kids seem needy. A united front requires adult time alone, so put it in the calendar and make it a priority. A house cannot stand on a shaky foundation. "

" I grew up in a very small town in North Carolina, weird and pudgy, without too many other kids to play with. I spent a lot of time watching TV. It was my reassurance that the outside world was bigger and more colorful than the one I lived in. "

" I definitely think, when you're a teenager, it's more forgiving to talk to strangers and go up to people at a mall or whatever. "

Emily V. Gordon

Think

You

" Love is a good thing. "

" Without knowing your own history, you are doomed to repeat it. "

" After my divorce, I took some time off from having a romantic life to begin the tough work of figuring out where I'd gone wrong and what on Earth I could do to understand how to be a whole person in a relationship. "

" If you've had a marriage that ended because of a betrayal in trust on your spouse's behalf, the idea of trusting another person with your heart can seem completely ridiculous. "

" Stays at the in-laws' aren't inherently sexy. "

" Your life story is a gift, and it should be treated as such. "

" Sometimes new spouses don't fully process the commitment they've made until after the deal is done, and then they panic. "

" Nothing makes a girl feel as unsexy as divorce. "

" Holiday food is rich and indulgent. Going-home-to-see-family food is richer and even more indulgent. "

" I'm tired of hearing about 'Damages,' I don't care how life-changing 'The Wire' is, and I don't want to hear another word about 'Battlestar Galactica' or its super-awesome ending. "

" The benefits of a healthy, thriving relationship may not be nearly as exciting as watching your career take off, but both aspects of your life are equally important. "