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" Nothing makes a girl feel as unsexy as divorce. "

Emily V. Gordon

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" As my marriage was slowly dissolving into silent meals and awkward nights of avoiding conversation, I started pondering an unmarried future and wondered if I'd ever be able to hack being single again. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Awkward conversations are painful, but they're way easier than divorce, resentment, and heartbreak. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Everybody's got baggage, and not just the classic, 'Oh I have so much baggage,' but everyone comes with so much context, and you're not just dating a person: you're dating all their context, too. Part of relationships is negotiating each other's context. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Hindsight is always 20/20, but I imagine a lot of married and divorced people have insights to share about how they felt during their engagement. "

Emily V. Gordon

" If you've had a marriage that ended because of a betrayal in trust on your spouse's behalf, the idea of trusting another person with your heart can seem completely ridiculous. "

Emily V. Gordon

" In my experience as a therapist and as a friend, it seems that the majority of the breakup resources available are for women and not men. Women, who tend to be more vocal about their emotional struggles, are the squeaky wheel that gets the grease from friends, from online communities, from books, and from therapeutic approaches. "

Emily V. Gordon

" People get married for a wide array of reasons and have all sorts of expectations of how marriage will change the relationship. And while it's true that turning the person you're dating into a legal partner does affect certain things, those who expect marriage to be a cure-all for all your relationship woes are sorely mistaken. "

Emily V. Gordon

" As any daytime judge show can tell you, spending someone's money or taking their stuff because they hurt your feelings is not justified. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Some divorcees turn their pain inward. They brood, and they grieve for a long time, always wondering if they could have done something differently to keep this from happening. They make every problem in their relationship into something they could have prevented. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Marriage isn't just about two people who fit together well. It's about two people who figure out how to fit together well. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Your wedding day is supposed to be your big day, and yet a lot of engaged couples find that instead of creating an event that will be important to them, they're dodging through a minefield of modern etiquette traps. "

Emily V. Gordon

" I'm tired of hearing about 'Damages,' I don't care how life-changing 'The Wire' is, and I don't want to hear another word about 'Battlestar Galactica' or its super-awesome ending. "

Emily V. Gordon

" People all want and need different emotional responses - some people like to be talked down when they're angry; some people want to be left alone. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Divorce is one of the most destructive, emotionally traumatic experiences a human being can go through, no matter if you're the instigator or the recipient. It's hard, and it hurts, and it takes a long time to feel normal again. "

Emily V. Gordon

" If you don't simply communicate with your spouse what household tasks you would like them to do, you are setting yourself up to be angry. "

Emily V. Gordon

" In some cases, newlyweds want so badly for things to be perfect that they ignore warning signs, both in themselves and each other. "

Emily V. Gordon

" You're not a victim of your divorce. What you decide to do with yourself and your personal life after your marriage ends is your decision, and completely under your control. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Things can be tough even when surrounded by nice Pottery Barn stuff. "

Emily V. Gordon

" After my divorce, I took some time off from having a romantic life to begin the tough work of figuring out where I'd gone wrong and what on Earth I could do to understand how to be a whole person in a relationship. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Stays at the in-laws' aren't inherently sexy. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Don't sacrifice alone time with your spouse just because the kids seem needy. A united front requires adult time alone, so put it in the calendar and make it a priority. A house cannot stand on a shaky foundation. "

Emily V. Gordon

" When I was young and less wise, I thought that being a feminist meant being independent. It meant not sacrificing your needs for anyone else's and not relying on anyone else for even a smidgen of your happiness or well being. "

Emily V. Gordon

" I grew up in a very small town in North Carolina, weird and pudgy, without too many other kids to play with. I spent a lot of time watching TV. It was my reassurance that the outside world was bigger and more colorful than the one I lived in. "

Emily V. Gordon

" There is no level of professional rejection that can compare to almost dying. "

Emily V. Gordon

" When someone insists that you watch a show that's already been on for a few seasons, they're basically saying, 'Hey, you're not doing anything for the next five weeks, are you? Because have I got a plan for you every single night! It's 'Weeds!'' "

Emily V. Gordon

" I always tell people, 'Take a class or volunteer.' It really helps you get out of your own little pocket of people you always see and gets you exposed to a new group of people. "

Emily V. Gordon

" I'm a mental-health advocate big time, so I think it's great when depression is a thing that's discussed out in the open, because it's still way too stigmatized. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Sometimes, I hate-watch television. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Marriage, even a happy and successful one, can be extremely stressful, but that stress is worth it if you're marrying the best person for you. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Sacrificing your relationship for your career sounds noble and romantic from the outside, but the reality is that it can create a pattern of self-destruction that will ultimately burn you out on the career you've worked so hard to build. It's a trap and, for some, an easy way out of having to maintain relationships under stress. "

Emily V. Gordon