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" I believe that Britain is becoming more class-conscious, and I quake at the very idea of Old Etonians ruling the world again. "

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" There is something more spiritual to us than what we are on this earth, but how you access it I'm not sure. "

" You don't want to be flattered and become big-headed by getting awards. But, well, I am. "

" You get people who come to London, sever links with where they come from, and then when they need people, there's nobody there. To feel like you can't go back home would be a horribly sad place to be, as is mistaking fame for genuine love and affection. "

" You can't be a proper comic unless you've been out on stage and felt the fear. "

" There was always that thing with 'Johnny' - I always saw myself as his writer and PR. But when he got out there, I had no control. His whole thing was going off on those flights of fancy. Going, 'Let's see what we can possibly do that hasn't been done before up here.' And when it works, it's lovely; it's a great night. "

" Some comics are in it for what they can get out of it. Others are in it for a love of comedy. I think those that are in it for a genuine love of comedy find each other within the circuit and become friends. "

" Writing a book about yourself is like therapy, and you go 'Oh My God, that's the reason that happened.' Writing about it, you're forced to really examine things. "

" Up North you are holding your own. Everyone considers themselves a comedian. "

" People are always asking, 'Where does Michael Pennington end and Johnny Vegas begin,' and you're going, 'It's not like that: it's blurred right across.' "

" The idea of being on TV 24 hours a day and people seeing the real me... No. "

" We all have days where we can't pronounce things or give it the emotion it deserves. "

" I struggle as a writer, and I'm convinced that if I was at school now, I'd be termed as having ADS. Two minutes and I'm drifting. "

" Baldness is visually enough of a stigma as it is without a big sweaty bloke on stage pointing it out. "

" Class still matters in Britain today. "

" There's this idea that it has to be made in London. But we've got everything up here, and if you've got comics who are gifted because of where they're from, you shouldn't drag them away from that natural resource. "

" Comedy's so subjective, and if someone comes to watch, doesn't get it, doesn't find it funny, then fine. "

" You can sway an audience if you win the women over. The gentlemen will follow 'cause they can be so foolish like that at times, they are easily led. "

" I thought I could play the hellraiser and then put 'Johnny Vegas' back in his box. I found popularity through self-destruction. The more you damage yourself, the more people are drawn to you, and that can be quite addictive. It is not a lifestyle you can maintain. "

" I do need to explore my faith, because it has got lost over the years and it has been kind of tainted through experience. But I also know it's enriched my life, my dad being a Catholic. "

" I couldn't be 'Johnny' in front of a camera in acting jobs and behind the camera I like to be 'Michael.' With directing, you can't do it by halves. There's a lot of reflection, and I have found that I, as 'Michael,' thrive on it. It's lovely coming home and feeling that stuff from a day's work as myself. "

" There's a domino effect with certain things you say. "

" There have been times I've finished a big job and thought, 'Great, a couple of weeks off.' But then a couple of weeks turns to three weeks and then after a month you're staring at the phone willing it to ring. "

" I've got too much respect for stand-ups to call myself one. "

" Never try to be witty with U.S. airport officials. It's always lost on them and you'll find yourself being put back on the plane. "

" I hate flying, airports and the whole rigmarole - queuing up, security and lost luggage. "

" This autocue was obviously written for someone else and I've been brought in at the last minute. "

" I always feel like an interloper when I do serious drama. It's my own paranoia. "

" I've got little ankles and a bit of a belly, so it makes me look rather an egg on legs. "

" 'Johnny' was always a lone wolf when he got on stage. Him against the world, whereas suddenly, when I got into acting, people were relying on me. "

" From a certain age, I sort of accepted myself for what I was. And although to other people it was like nothing ever goes right, I had a really nice attitude that I'd inherited from my parents, and especially from my dad. "