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" I care about money, very much. I want it. I don't ever want to be without it. My mother once said about me, 'Elaine has to have money.' "

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" You have to be very, very good looking to get ahead in motion pictures. "

" Making clever speeches takes a lot of work and a lot of time. "

" I think the most interesting New Yorkers are the people who were not born here. "

" I'm a hotel baby, absolutely: it's hard to think of a hotel I haven't stayed in. "

" When I'm playing comedy, it is such a crap shoot of what will work and what won't. "

" You cannot tell an audience a lie. They know it before you do; before it's out of your mouth, they know it's a lie. "

" Isn't this fantastic, what a star I am? "

" All you have to do is say, 'I'm going home,' and you're the most popular girl at the party. "

" Honestly, this is a big thing to say, but I don't think I've ever been bored. If I even get an inkling of it, I split. "

" You never know what is happening to yourself when it is happening. "

" I could have made a lot of money doing 'Golden Girls,' and I would have been good. But the image of it! And for me to work with Betty White every day would be like taking cyanide. "

" Quite frankly I don't know how to be happy. I have not a clue. "

" My movie career - if such a thing even exists - is laughable. "

" Diabetes is a lousy, lousy disease. "

" As a diabetic, I'm a walking picnic. I have to eat measured amounts of food at certain times. "

" I compare Stephen Sondheim with humor, because humor is unanalyzable. You can't analyze humor. You just have to get through it. "

" My idea of serenity - that wonderful word that everybody's trying to get into their life - is call-waiting. "

" I don't think there's any thrill in the world like doing work you're good at. "

" These performers that go on about their technique and craft - oh, puleeze! How boring! I don't know what 'technique' means. But I do know what experience is. "

" I loved being on Broadway, but performing has become exhausting, and I just don't want to live in New York anymore. I'm just sick of the competition in New York, the feeling that I always have to rehearse to keep up my performance. I don't feel like rehearsing, even though it should be my favorite thing in the world to do. "

" There's certainly nothing lasting and definite about the theater. "

" Let me tell you about those convents. All that crap about extending the pinkie finger while sipping tea is a myth. Convent schools are breeding grounds for great broads and occasionally one-of-the-boys. Convent schools teach you to play against everything, which is what I'm still doing. "

" I never thought about living in New York. I just thought it was great. "

" I think being boring is just the worst sin of all time. "

" There will always be ladies who lunch. Always. And apparently they live a long time. "

" Dying is easy. Comedy is hard. "

" Why haven't I made more movies? Nobody asked me. "

" I smoked, I drank, I did all the kicking my heels up type things, but I went to Mass on Sunday. "

" I think taking care of yourself, health-wise, in every way, is a 100 percent winner. "

" Certain type of actresses get younger instead of older. I always say, 'Only ingenues age.' "