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" You cannot tell an audience a lie. They know it before you do; before it's out of your mouth, they know it's a lie. "

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" Betty White is probably a very nice woman. "

" I think I have more humour in me than anger. But those two things are great bed-fellows, performance-wise. "

" I just serve others through entertaining. That's when I am happy. "

" When the hospital sends for me, when the ambulance comes and I ease my way out of the world, I'd rather be in Detroit, Michigan, than Lenox Hill. "

" I don't think I'm gonna die tomorrow or even two weeks from now, or even ever. I just don't know - who the hell knows what's gonna happen to them? Nobody! Isn't that comforting? Nobody has a clue. I like that we don't know. And I like that it's somebody else's decision, not mine. "

" When I'm playing comedy, it is such a crap shoot of what will work and what won't. "

" I think it's the wrong way around to say, 'When you get older move to the country.' I think when you get older you move to New York. "

" There's certainly nothing lasting and definite about the theater. "

" I tell the truth, and it has gotten me into a lot of trouble. My dad used to say to me, 'If you tell the truth all day long, you will end up in jail.' "

" I don't have a great talent for explaining myself in acting because I can't explain it. "

" You can't be funny unless you're tragic, and you can't be tragic unless you're funny. "

" I smoked, I drank, I did all the kicking my heels up type things, but I went to Mass on Sunday. "

" I have no intention of retiring. Even my blood sugar is better when I'm working. "

" I'm a good acting partner for me... when I don't have anyone else, I do really well! "

" Honestly, this is a big thing to say, but I don't think I've ever been bored. If I even get an inkling of it, I split. "

" My idea of serenity - that wonderful word that everybody's trying to get into their life - is call-waiting. "

" Making clever speeches takes a lot of work and a lot of time. "

" I never thought about living in New York. I just thought it was great. "

" All you have to do is say, 'I'm going home,' and you're the most popular girl at the party. "

" I loved being on Broadway, but performing has become exhausting, and I just don't want to live in New York anymore. I'm just sick of the competition in New York, the feeling that I always have to rehearse to keep up my performance. I don't feel like rehearsing, even though it should be my favorite thing in the world to do. "

" I like glasses so I can go out without my makeup. Just grab your coat and get your hat and go. "

" I love holidays in New York. I love 'em. I want to celebrate something all the time, and New York has holidays for every day of the week, practically. I like holidays in New York City. "

" I don't wear a wig. I'd feel terrible onstage with a wig. I hate to be so 'Actors Studio'-ish, but I like to feel it's me out there. "

" I love Birmingham, Michigan. It's lovely - you know, it's very similar to the Hamptons. "

" I mention I'm going home, and I'm a star immediately! This used to happen with my boyfriends - as soon as I'd say, 'I gotta go home now,' they fell in love. "

" The people in New York - their humor is on a level that goes, uh, very deep, you know? "

" If I see someone saying the rosary in the wings, I know they've got talent. "

" Fans recognize me all over the place. But the second you need anything, they're never around! They're like the police! "

" I find it easier to abstain than do a little bit of anything. I'm not a 'little bit' kind of dame. I want it all, whatever I do. "

" All of the writing on '30 Rock' is a joy to go into. It's pretty hot stuff. "