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" Making clever speeches takes a lot of work and a lot of time. "

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" I always say, 'If you can't give a reason for the banana peel being in the alley, then don't have the comic slide over it.' Do you understand what I mean? First explain how the banana peel got there quickly. And then there's a reason for all the comedy. "

" I think it's the wrong way around to say, 'When you get older move to the country.' I think when you get older you move to New York. "

" For me, going to London is like coming home. In fact, I've often entertained the idea of ending my days there. "

" I think the most interesting New Yorkers are the people who were not born here. "

" I don't think I'm gonna die tomorrow or even two weeks from now, or even ever. I just don't know - who the hell knows what's gonna happen to them? Nobody! Isn't that comforting? Nobody has a clue. I like that we don't know. And I like that it's somebody else's decision, not mine. "

" I never found anyone who could look after me as well as I could look after myself. "

" You have to be very, very good looking to get ahead in motion pictures. "

" I'm a good acting partner for me... when I don't have anyone else, I do really well! "

" What I want to understand is what I am talking about on the stage. What I don't want to understand is what the government is talking about when the government tells me about taxes. "

" I mention I'm going home, and I'm a star immediately! This used to happen with my boyfriends - as soon as I'd say, 'I gotta go home now,' they fell in love. "

" If I see a great performance on television, onstage, in the movies, I go to work the next day with a renewed energy and less fear. These great artists take me out of my life and make me want to go there. "

" This age thing is all up to you. It's like happiness is up to you. You just have to understand what it is before you get it. "

" I don't think there's any thrill in the world like doing work you're good at. "

" Audiences are not strangers to me. They're the best friends I've got in my life. "

" There were a lot of lyrics that I sang but didn't understand. But I had this facade in performance of looking like I wrote the book. "

" I love holidays in New York. I love 'em. I want to celebrate something all the time, and New York has holidays for every day of the week, practically. I like holidays in New York City. "

" My idea of serenity - that wonderful word that everybody's trying to get into their life - is call-waiting. "

" All of the writing on '30 Rock' is a joy to go into. It's pretty hot stuff. "

" When I'm playing comedy, it is such a crap shoot of what will work and what won't. "

" Talent is very dangerous. It alienates people. "

" My biggest dream was to get out of Michigan - to discover life beyond the Sacred Heart Convent. "

" Quite frankly I don't know how to be happy. I have not a clue. "

" Let me tell you about those convents. All that crap about extending the pinkie finger while sipping tea is a myth. Convent schools are breeding grounds for great broads and occasionally one-of-the-boys. Convent schools teach you to play against everything, which is what I'm still doing. "

" There's certainly nothing lasting and definite about the theater. "

" There will always be ladies who lunch. Always. And apparently they live a long time. "

" Dying is easy. Comedy is hard. "

" I do believe in the infallibility of the Pope, because I think we have to believe in something. "

" I loved being on Broadway, but performing has become exhausting, and I just don't want to live in New York anymore. I'm just sick of the competition in New York, the feeling that I always have to rehearse to keep up my performance. I don't feel like rehearsing, even though it should be my favorite thing in the world to do. "

" I tell the truth, and it has gotten me into a lot of trouble. My dad used to say to me, 'If you tell the truth all day long, you will end up in jail.' "

" I am not influenced by other human beings. But I am inspired. "