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" As a diabetic, I'm a walking picnic. I have to eat measured amounts of food at certain times. "

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" Let me tell you about those convents. All that crap about extending the pinkie finger while sipping tea is a myth. Convent schools are breeding grounds for great broads and occasionally one-of-the-boys. Convent schools teach you to play against everything, which is what I'm still doing. "

" I don't have to go to a doctor and have my face changed. It terrifies me that women do that. "

" I mention I'm going home, and I'm a star immediately! This used to happen with my boyfriends - as soon as I'd say, 'I gotta go home now,' they fell in love. "

" Why haven't I made more movies? Nobody asked me. "

" Betty White is probably a very nice woman. "

" Dying is easy. Comedy is hard. "

" I'm a hotel baby, absolutely: it's hard to think of a hotel I haven't stayed in. "

" I like celebrities. I love people who are famous. Always have. "

" Talent is very dangerous. It alienates people. "

" I care about money, very much. I want it. I don't ever want to be without it. My mother once said about me, 'Elaine has to have money.' "

" The closer a part is to you, the harder it is to play. Anything else is just imitation. If I'm playing a Russian countess, I get the hat, the accent, the outrageousness. Easy. Playing a murderess? Perfect. "

" When I'm playing comedy, it is such a crap shoot of what will work and what won't. "

" I think taking care of yourself, health-wise, in every way, is a 100 percent winner. "

" I don't wear a wig. I'd feel terrible onstage with a wig. I hate to be so 'Actors Studio'-ish, but I like to feel it's me out there. "

" I do believe in the infallibility of the Pope, because I think we have to believe in something. "

" I tell the truth, and it has gotten me into a lot of trouble. My dad used to say to me, 'If you tell the truth all day long, you will end up in jail.' "

" The people in New York - their humor is on a level that goes, uh, very deep, you know? "

" I always say, 'If you can't give a reason for the banana peel being in the alley, then don't have the comic slide over it.' Do you understand what I mean? First explain how the banana peel got there quickly. And then there's a reason for all the comedy. "

" Certain type of actresses get younger instead of older. I always say, 'Only ingenues age.' "

" I am not influenced by other human beings. But I am inspired. "

" I could have made a lot of money doing 'Golden Girls,' and I would have been good. But the image of it! And for me to work with Betty White every day would be like taking cyanide. "

" I like glasses so I can go out without my makeup. Just grab your coat and get your hat and go. "

" This age thing is all up to you. It's like happiness is up to you. You just have to understand what it is before you get it. "

" Fans recognize me all over the place. But the second you need anything, they're never around! They're like the police! "

" I smoked, I drank, I did all the kicking my heels up type things, but I went to Mass on Sunday. "

" Honestly, this is a big thing to say, but I don't think I've ever been bored. If I even get an inkling of it, I split. "

" I think it's the wrong way around to say, 'When you get older move to the country.' I think when you get older you move to New York. "

" I'm loaded with talent. "

" There's certainly nothing lasting and definite about the theater. "

" You have to be very, very good looking to get ahead in motion pictures. "