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" I think being boring is just the worst sin of all time. "

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" Audiences are not strangers to me. They're the best friends I've got in my life. "

" Talent is very dangerous. It alienates people. "

" There are a lot of things I do that I don't want to, but I have to. It's truly an emotional need for me to perform. "

" I like being talked about. I think some people really don't... because they're secure enough and they don't need that. "

" New Yorkers stop me on the street all the time to say, 'You're terrific! You're the nuts!' "

" I'm a good acting partner for me... when I don't have anyone else, I do really well! "

" There will always be ladies who lunch. Always. And apparently they live a long time. "

" If I see someone saying the rosary in the wings, I know they've got talent. "

" The closer a part is to you, the harder it is to play. Anything else is just imitation. If I'm playing a Russian countess, I get the hat, the accent, the outrageousness. Easy. Playing a murderess? Perfect. "

" I smoked, I drank, I did all the kicking my heels up type things, but I went to Mass on Sunday. "

" I never thought about living in New York. I just thought it was great. "

" What I want to understand is what I am talking about on the stage. What I don't want to understand is what the government is talking about when the government tells me about taxes. "

" I love audiences. My God, the best friends in the world! "

" For me, going to London is like coming home. In fact, I've often entertained the idea of ending my days there. "

" I like celebrities. I love people who are famous. Always have. "

" I am not influenced by other human beings. But I am inspired. "

" I never found anyone who could look after me as well as I could look after myself. "

" When I'm playing comedy, it is such a crap shoot of what will work and what won't. "

" I always say, 'If you can't give a reason for the banana peel being in the alley, then don't have the comic slide over it.' Do you understand what I mean? First explain how the banana peel got there quickly. And then there's a reason for all the comedy. "

" I care about money, very much. I want it. I don't ever want to be without it. My mother once said about me, 'Elaine has to have money.' "

" I think it's the wrong way around to say, 'When you get older move to the country.' I think when you get older you move to New York. "

" There's certainly nothing lasting and definite about the theater. "

" Why haven't I made more movies? Nobody asked me. "

" I just serve others through entertaining. That's when I am happy. "

" I'm a hotel baby, absolutely: it's hard to think of a hotel I haven't stayed in. "

" When I want to do something badly enough, I do it, but there is a practical side of me that thinks I should be paid fairly. "

" My movie career - if such a thing even exists - is laughable. "

" I don't think I'm gonna die tomorrow or even two weeks from now, or even ever. I just don't know - who the hell knows what's gonna happen to them? Nobody! Isn't that comforting? Nobody has a clue. I like that we don't know. And I like that it's somebody else's decision, not mine. "

" I don't have to go to a doctor and have my face changed. It terrifies me that women do that. "

" Quite frankly I don't know how to be happy. I have not a clue. "