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" I really wanted to go to a city and get involved in a theater scene and a theater community. I had some friends who had moved out to Chicago and had said really good things about it and about the work. I didn't care at that time about making money. "

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" I don't know, and certainly I've been guilty of making a judgment about a celebrity, but there's a part of me that's like, 'Why don't you take the time you're spending ripping James Franco and go do something you like?' "

Timothy Simons

You

Know

" IPods just made music about how many songs you could have on you at all times. "

" I think the absolute worst job I ever had - not because it was a terrible job, just because I was just so bad at it - was when I worked at a scenic factory in Chicago. "

" I'm very much in favor of vaccinations, and I've been very vocal about that because it's insane to forgo this. "

" My dad was a photographer, so we had all these studio portraits of us. "

" I don't have actors in my family, but everyone is pretty artistic. "

" The Duplass brothers do that so well - that very simple, very horrifically awkward comedy. "

" I think I was a behavior problem, mostly, but in a fun way. I tried to tell jokes. I was the middle kid, so I was always looking for attention and trying to be the one that equalized everything. "

" The one thing I always think about when I don't get jobs is that it just wasn't yours. You don't want to do something that you're not right for because it won't make the production look good, and it won't make you look good. "

" Truthfully, I don't like the binge-watching model. I think that if you give everybody everything all at once, there's very much a law of diminishing returns as far as their enjoyment of them. "

" Unless you're playing a historical figure, a writer or director can change their minds. And sometimes your job is to make them change their minds - to make them believe that you're the one that can do it. "

" I'll believe I made it when I'm 100 years old, I'm still able to get work, and they're about to put me in a coffin, and I'll be like, 'Yeah, OK, it went all right.' But until then, I'm not saying it. "

Timothy Simons

Old

Believe

" If you didn't watch 'The Shield,' you should stop everything you are doing and go back and watch 'The Shield.' "

Timothy Simons

Doing

Back

" We live in a world in which whatever you do has a parody account online in moments. "

" There is that great thing of D.C. being Hollywood for ugly people. There's very distinct crossover behaviors. "

" I'm particularly bad at breaking if something's funny. I'm not professional, so I do often laugh, but less at what I do and more often at what other people do. "

" I used to love going to shows and finding new bands, but the Internet takes the fun out of it. Like a band? You can buy and download every single song they have ever done within five minutes. "

" I like sort of esoteric and weird Twitter jokes. But I actually unfollow people if they make jokes about a celebrity's death within the first two minutes of that celebrity dying. "

" There is a part of me that really just thinks it would be so funny to see the 'Veep' characters in 'Game of Thrones.' "

Timothy Simons

Thinks

See

" My children, twins who are three years old, they're awful creatures right now. "

" I've lived with myself for a very long time, so I'm aware of what I look like. I'm under no false pretense that I'm a stunner, so if somebody comes up and says something about my physical appearance, it's okay. "

" I was born in the Northeast, and I have Midwestern parents. "

" I've done a pretty good job of curating a Twitter feed that doesn't make me hate the world. "

" There are people I've met in L.A. who kind of only talk about the business. Because maybe they think that's the best move. "

" Ultimately, I just made the decision to move to L.A. sight unseen. It took me a while to save up some money to do it. "

" When I was in Chicago, I was working as a carpenter while I was doing plays. I thought it'd be a fun set construction job, but it turned up to just be a straight-up factory. "

" I'm saying nothing new that Dave Pasquesi is really good at what he does. "

" I got my SAG card doing a Kentucky Fried Chicken commercial in Chicago. "

" It's much harder to get a job if nobody wants you around. "

" David Letterman was my guy growing up. My parents recorded the tenth anniversary special for me, and I watched it 40 times. "

Timothy Simons

Parents

Growing Up