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" When I was in Chicago, I was working as a carpenter while I was doing plays. I thought it'd be a fun set construction job, but it turned up to just be a straight-up factory. "

Timothy Simons

Thought

Construction

Doing

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" It's much harder to get a job if nobody wants you around. "

" I grew up in Maine working at a video store and found myself being pulled more and more to on-camera stuff. "

Timothy Simons

Working

Stuff

" I'm particularly bad at breaking if something's funny. I'm not professional, so I do often laugh, but less at what I do and more often at what other people do. "

" I like sort of esoteric and weird Twitter jokes. But I actually unfollow people if they make jokes about a celebrity's death within the first two minutes of that celebrity dying. "

" I've lived with myself for a very long time, so I'm aware of what I look like. I'm under no false pretense that I'm a stunner, so if somebody comes up and says something about my physical appearance, it's okay. "

" I took one class at Second City called Improv for Actors, and that was it, and that was only because my agent told me I had to. "

Timothy Simons

City

Because

" You're taught from a very young age that you shouldn't get too big for your britches, so I tend to err way too much on the side of 'Nothing means anything.' "

" I was born tall. I was awkward and gangly. Before that, I was a really chubby elementary school kid. I've always been sort of a physical abnormality. "

" I think the absolute worst job I ever had - not because it was a terrible job, just because I was just so bad at it - was when I worked at a scenic factory in Chicago. "

" I'll believe I made it when I'm 100 years old, I'm still able to get work, and they're about to put me in a coffin, and I'll be like, 'Yeah, OK, it went all right.' But until then, I'm not saying it. "

Timothy Simons

Old

Believe

" I used to love going to shows and finding new bands, but the Internet takes the fun out of it. Like a band? You can buy and download every single song they have ever done within five minutes. "

" I got my SAG card doing a Kentucky Fried Chicken commercial in Chicago. "

" My children, twins who are three years old, they're awful creatures right now. "

" Reed Scott is really good at coming up with insults. "

" If you're going to go to an audition, you don't want to go in trying to force yourself into some archetype that has been thought up by a director and translated by a casting director. "

" If you didn't watch 'The Shield,' you should stop everything you are doing and go back and watch 'The Shield.' "

Timothy Simons

Doing

Back

" I really wanted to go to a city and get involved in a theater scene and a theater community. I had some friends who had moved out to Chicago and had said really good things about it and about the work. I didn't care at that time about making money. "

" I don't know, and certainly I've been guilty of making a judgment about a celebrity, but there's a part of me that's like, 'Why don't you take the time you're spending ripping James Franco and go do something you like?' "

Timothy Simons

You

Know

" It's so odd because I don't even know if I'm cut out for it, but being a movie star guy, I sort of end up gravitating toward the Coen brothers. That's one of the reasons my wife and I moved to L.A.: that however much of a pipe dream that would be, I moved to L.A. because I'd love to work with the Coen brothers. "

" IPods just made music about how many songs you could have on you at all times. "

" There is a part of me that really just thinks it would be so funny to see the 'Veep' characters in 'Game of Thrones.' "

Timothy Simons

Thinks

See

" My first job in L.A. was actually playing an employee in a Best Buy commercial, but I played a bad employee at another store. I also worked at a commercial casting company running cameras and session directing. "

" When I was a carpenter, I built sets for small storefront Chicago companies. Like, I built sets for friends of mine at The House Theater. "

" I was born in the Northeast, and I have Midwestern parents. "

" Unless you're playing a historical figure, a writer or director can change their minds. And sometimes your job is to make them change their minds - to make them believe that you're the one that can do it. "

" There is that great thing of D.C. being Hollywood for ugly people. There's very distinct crossover behaviors. "

" I started out with the intention of studying physics. I was a terrible high school student outside of the fact that I did well in physics, but there's a big difference between being good at physics and being a physicist, so I jettisoned that very quickly. "

" David Letterman was my guy growing up. My parents recorded the tenth anniversary special for me, and I watched it 40 times. "

Timothy Simons

Parents

Growing Up