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All Quotes by author - Timothy Simons

" After school, I was planning to jump from regional theater to regional theater. "

" David Letterman was my guy growing up. My parents recorded the tenth anniversary special for me, and I watched it 40 times. "

" I don't have actors in my family, but everyone is pretty artistic. "

" I don't know, and certainly I've been guilty of making a judgment about a celebrity, but there's a part of me that's like, 'Why don't you take the time you're spending ripping James Franco and go do something you like?' "

" If you didn't watch 'The Shield,' you should stop everything you are doing and go back and watch 'The Shield.' "

" If you're going to go to an audition, you don't want to go in trying to force yourself into some archetype that has been thought up by a director and translated by a casting director. "

" I got my SAG card doing a Kentucky Fried Chicken commercial in Chicago. "

" I grew up in Maine working at a video store and found myself being pulled more and more to on-camera stuff. "

" I like sort of esoteric and weird Twitter jokes. But I actually unfollow people if they make jokes about a celebrity's death within the first two minutes of that celebrity dying. "

" I'll believe I made it when I'm 100 years old, I'm still able to get work, and they're about to put me in a coffin, and I'll be like, 'Yeah, OK, it went all right.' But until then, I'm not saying it. "

" I'm a dog person, but I don't have a pet. "

" I'm a night person, but because of being in the film business and having children, my schedule has shifted, and I'm always terrified that I'm going to oversleep. "

" I'm particularly bad at breaking if something's funny. I'm not professional, so I do often laugh, but less at what I do and more often at what other people do. "

" I'm saying nothing new that Dave Pasquesi is really good at what he does. "

" I'm very much in favor of vaccinations, and I've been very vocal about that because it's insane to forgo this. "

" IPods just made music about how many songs you could have on you at all times. "

" I really wanted to go to a city and get involved in a theater scene and a theater community. I had some friends who had moved out to Chicago and had said really good things about it and about the work. I didn't care at that time about making money. "

" I started out with the intention of studying physics. I was a terrible high school student outside of the fact that I did well in physics, but there's a big difference between being good at physics and being a physicist, so I jettisoned that very quickly. "

" I think I was a behavior problem, mostly, but in a fun way. I tried to tell jokes. I was the middle kid, so I was always looking for attention and trying to be the one that equalized everything. "

" I think the absolute worst job I ever had - not because it was a terrible job, just because I was just so bad at it - was when I worked at a scenic factory in Chicago. "

" I took one class at Second City called Improv for Actors, and that was it, and that was only because my agent told me I had to. "

" It's much harder to get a job if nobody wants you around. "

" It's so odd because I don't even know if I'm cut out for it, but being a movie star guy, I sort of end up gravitating toward the Coen brothers. That's one of the reasons my wife and I moved to L.A.: that however much of a pipe dream that would be, I moved to L.A. because I'd love to work with the Coen brothers. "

" I used to love going to shows and finding new bands, but the Internet takes the fun out of it. Like a band? You can buy and download every single song they have ever done within five minutes. "

" I've done a pretty good job of curating a Twitter feed that doesn't make me hate the world. "

" I've lived with myself for a very long time, so I'm aware of what I look like. I'm under no false pretense that I'm a stunner, so if somebody comes up and says something about my physical appearance, it's okay. "

" I was born in the Northeast, and I have Midwestern parents. "

" I was born tall. I was awkward and gangly. Before that, I was a really chubby elementary school kid. I've always been sort of a physical abnormality. "

" Keeping children alive and free of disease is not a political issue and cannot be put into a partisan box. "

" My children, twins who are three years old, they're awful creatures right now. "

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