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" My children, twins who are three years old, they're awful creatures right now. "
Timothy Simons
Old
Children
Twins
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" The Duplass brothers do that so well - that very simple, very horrifically awkward comedy. "
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" I'm particularly bad at breaking if something's funny. I'm not professional, so I do often laugh, but less at what I do and more often at what other people do. "
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" If you're going to go to an audition, you don't want to go in trying to force yourself into some archetype that has been thought up by a director and translated by a casting director. "
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" There are people I've met in L.A. who kind of only talk about the business. Because maybe they think that's the best move. "
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" I took one class at Second City called Improv for Actors, and that was it, and that was only because my agent told me I had to. "
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" I'm very much in favor of vaccinations, and I've been very vocal about that because it's insane to forgo this. "
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" I don't have actors in my family, but everyone is pretty artistic. "
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" I grew up in Maine working at a video store and found myself being pulled more and more to on-camera stuff. "
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" I'm a night person, but because of being in the film business and having children, my schedule has shifted, and I'm always terrified that I'm going to oversleep. "
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" My dad's a photographer, and my sister is a writer and a poet. My little brother is a mandolin player - he's a bluegrass musician. It's always been a part of the family. "
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Poet
Sister
Brother
" I was born in the Northeast, and I have Midwestern parents. "
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Parents
I Was Born
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" I've done a pretty good job of curating a Twitter feed that doesn't make me hate the world. "
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" You don't want someone to think you're from New Hampshire, because who cares about New Hampshire? You're basically just a pass-through. "
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" It's so odd because I don't even know if I'm cut out for it, but being a movie star guy, I sort of end up gravitating toward the Coen brothers. That's one of the reasons my wife and I moved to L.A.: that however much of a pipe dream that would be, I moved to L.A. because I'd love to work with the Coen brothers. "
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Love
Work
Dream
" I was born tall. I was awkward and gangly. Before that, I was a really chubby elementary school kid. I've always been sort of a physical abnormality. "
Timothy Simons
Born
Tall
School
" My first job in L.A. was actually playing an employee in a Best Buy commercial, but I played a bad employee at another store. I also worked at a commercial casting company running cameras and session directing. "
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Employee
Bad
Best
" When I was in Chicago, I was working as a carpenter while I was doing plays. I thought it'd be a fun set construction job, but it turned up to just be a straight-up factory. "
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Thought
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Doing
" I'll believe I made it when I'm 100 years old, I'm still able to get work, and they're about to put me in a coffin, and I'll be like, 'Yeah, OK, it went all right.' But until then, I'm not saying it. "
Timothy Simons
Old
Me
Believe
" You're taught from a very young age that you shouldn't get too big for your britches, so I tend to err way too much on the side of 'Nothing means anything.' "
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Young
Nothing
Age
" My dad was a photographer, so we had all these studio portraits of us. "
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Had
Photographer
Portraits
" I used to love going to shows and finding new bands, but the Internet takes the fun out of it. Like a band? You can buy and download every single song they have ever done within five minutes. "
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" We live in a world in which whatever you do has a parody account online in moments. "
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" The one thing I always think about when I don't get jobs is that it just wasn't yours. You don't want to do something that you're not right for because it won't make the production look good, and it won't make you look good. "
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" I started out with the intention of studying physics. I was a terrible high school student outside of the fact that I did well in physics, but there's a big difference between being good at physics and being a physicist, so I jettisoned that very quickly. "
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High School
Good
Studying
" IPods just made music about how many songs you could have on you at all times. "
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" I've lived with myself for a very long time, so I'm aware of what I look like. I'm under no false pretense that I'm a stunner, so if somebody comes up and says something about my physical appearance, it's okay. "
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Appearance
Look
Time
" When I was a carpenter, I built sets for small storefront Chicago companies. Like, I built sets for friends of mine at The House Theater. "
Timothy Simons
Chicago
Friends
Small
" I really wanted to go to a city and get involved in a theater scene and a theater community. I had some friends who had moved out to Chicago and had said really good things about it and about the work. I didn't care at that time about making money. "
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City
Community
Good
" Unless you're playing a historical figure, a writer or director can change their minds. And sometimes your job is to make them change their minds - to make them believe that you're the one that can do it. "
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Writer
You
Change