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" I try not to tune in to politics until it's two or three months before the election. Till then, it's like watching preseason football. "

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" Out of all the ridiculous religion stories - which are greatly, wonderfully ridiculous - the silliest one I've ever heard is, 'Yeah, there's this big, giant universe, and it's expanding, and it's all going to collapse on itself, and we're all just here, just 'cuz. Just 'cuz.' That to me, is the most ridiculous explanation ever. "

" When I was in sixth grade there was a talent show, and I wrote my first sketch, 'The Dentist.' I played the dentist, and I had my friend play a patient. It was sort of what can go wrong at the dentist, and I just remember I had lots of fake blood and everything. "

" You don't need missionaries in Colorado; you got Colorado. "

" My favorite musical? I don't. It changes all the time. I'm just a diehard, I'm totally old school, like I'll sit and watch, if they are re-doing Oklahoma in New York, I will be the first one there. "

" Even if you're not Christian, just from being in our culture you know Jesus and resurrection and redemption. "

" If you're famous, you suck, just for being famous. People in England totally get that; Americans don't. "

" We're the guys who, if someone says you really shouldn't do an episode making fun of Scientologists, we say, 'Whatever.' Someone says, 'They might come try to burn your house down,' we say, 'We'll just get another one.' "

" I would let my kids watch this stuff way before I'd let them watch something like 'Full House' that I think would make them stupid. "

" I got into this little habit of architecture and building. I designed a house in Colorado and one in Hawaii. The idea is supposed to be build and sell - but then I can never bring myself to sell them. "

" I spend shockingly little time thinking about real-world stuff. "

" I have no desire to ever talk to Sean Penn. "

" I find Mormons adorable. "

" I think you could take any Bruckheimer movie and do it with puppets, and it would be screamingly funny. "

" I hate puppets so much. "

" You know, and it really doesn't have a lot to do with the movie. That's the trick to doing a good musical is that, if you take that music number out, there's less to the movie there. You would miss it. "

" If you ever go to Temple Square in Salt Lake City, if you stay there long enough, you'll see a homeless person standing in the middle of their nice, beautiful square, holding out a cup for change. And the Mormons don't ever ask him to leave. "

" I was a big 'Charlie Brown' fan as a kid. "

" We made this really dumb decision to put on the cover nothing from South Park but just a real life photo of a piece of pooh dressed up like Mr. Hankey, and a lot of people didn't, they didn't even know what it was. "

" My first serious girlfriend, when I was 16, was Mormon. I went to her house for 'family home evening,' and I was like, 'Why aren't you people ignoring each other and watching television?' "

" I don't even know where Russia and Mexico are. "

" You know that everyone thinks that in order to do South Park we must be wild, crazy, rock and roll stars. But the truth is we're just wholesome middle-American guys. We enjoy soda pop, baseball and beating up old people just as much as anybody. "

" Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything. It's the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it. "

" The 'Beavis and Butt-head' movie was just a movie-length version of the TV show. "

" Jerry Bruckheimer creates comedy, he just doesn't realize because he's a turd. "

" Even from the very beginning, I didn't put any money in the stock market. "

" When you were a teenager in Colorado, the way to be a punk rocker was to rip on Reagan and Bush and what they were doing and talk about how everyone in Colorado's a redneck with a gun and all this stuff. "

" I was always a very happy, optimistic person. "

" No, writing musicals is the hardest thing in the world. And it was really funny, because I remember when the South Park movie came out, there were some critics that said, 'Well it's obvious that in order to get it to be 90 minutes they filled some time with music.' "

" The problem is we moved to LA... The only way to be punk rock in L.A. is to be a Republican. "

" If somebody actually came to me and said, 'O.K., this is it: write your last 'South Park' episodes,' I'd be like, 'No, no, no.' "