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" I don't even know where Russia and Mexico are. "

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" I think you could take any Bruckheimer movie and do it with puppets, and it would be screamingly funny. "

" I bought a house for my mom, I bought a house for my dad, I bought a house for my sister. "

" Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything. It's the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it. "

" I was always a very happy, optimistic person. "

" It's not like we have a formula, but I think one of the reasons this show has survived is that it has a big heart at its center. Other cartoon shows have people crap on each other and make racist jokes. But I don't think people tune in for that. I just don't think a show lasts for 10 years without a heart. "

" There is nothing we can't do. So it's just the fact that we're doing topics like that that other people, especially network TV, won't touch, that we're satirists. "

" Even from the very beginning, I didn't put any money in the stock market. "

" Sometimes what's right isn't as important as what's profitable. "

" It's funny because I think a lot of it is simply... We've never considered ourselves satirists, but because we're on Comedy Central and because we're South Park on Comedy Central, we can do any topic we want. "

" Bargaining makes you come up with the best ideas. "

" When I was a kid, to me, the Evergreen Players were the big time. "

" The only way to be punk rock in L.A. is to be a Republican. "

" I don't want to say never, but I hope I don't become that 'take me seriously now' guy. "

" That was a misconception among a lot of people - that Mormons are polygamist. No, they're not. I mean they obviously have that in their history, and there are some fundamentalists. "

" So much of what you see now in Hollywood is written and directed by committee, and you can see it. "

" If we have a great idea, we'll go, 'Oh, this could be a cool movie.' Or really for us, it's more like, 'Oh, this is a really bad idea. Let's do this. This seems really stupid.' "

" If you ever go to Temple Square in Salt Lake City, if you stay there long enough, you'll see a homeless person standing in the middle of their nice, beautiful square, holding out a cup for change. And the Mormons don't ever ask him to leave. "

" So we're considering doing a new Christmas album, because there's been Christmas episodes since then, and maybe finally do the version of 'The Most Offensive Song Ever' with lyrics intact. "

" You don't need missionaries in Colorado; you got Colorado. "

" Most people I know are not hard-core religious people. They are what I would call 'lightly religious.' So I don't buy the notion that we can't laugh about religion in America. "

" We made this really dumb decision to put on the cover nothing from South Park but just a real life photo of a piece of pooh dressed up like Mr. Hankey, and a lot of people didn't, they didn't even know what it was. "

" I've started confiding in people, other artists mostly, that I hate making 'South Park,' and I always have. It's super stressful. I'm always miserable. "

" My dad was just a big Joseph Campbell nut. "

" It's this simple law, which every writer knows, of taking two opposites and putting them in a room together. I love anything with Cartman and Butters at the same time, it's great. "

" We're the guys who, if someone says you really shouldn't do an episode making fun of Scientologists, we say, 'Whatever.' Someone says, 'They might come try to burn your house down,' we say, 'We'll just get another one.' "

" Out of all the ridiculous religion stories - which are greatly, wonderfully ridiculous - the silliest one I've ever heard is, 'Yeah, there's this big, giant universe, and it's expanding, and it's all going to collapse on itself, and we're all just here, just 'cuz. Just 'cuz.' That to me, is the most ridiculous explanation ever. "

" In terms of the creative side of it, it's really been a thing where you come up with the funny stuff is usually at a bar or out talking to people or whatever. "

" My fear is that, as soon as I get married and have kids that I'll kind of do what a lot of people do and suddenly start making, 'Now I'm gonna make films for kids.' I really hope I don't do that. "

" I can feel myself dying inside. "

" We find just as many things to rip on the left as we do on the right. People on the far-left and the far-right are the same exact person to us. "