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" I have no desire to ever talk to Sean Penn. "

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" My fear is that, as soon as I get married and have kids that I'll kind of do what a lot of people do and suddenly start making, 'Now I'm gonna make films for kids.' I really hope I don't do that. "

" We created a brand for ourselves, so that now people can't get mad at what we do, because then they're just making of themselves. "

" I was a big 'Charlie Brown' fan as a kid. "

" There is nothing we can't do. So it's just the fact that we're doing topics like that that other people, especially network TV, won't touch, that we're satirists. "

" Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in womb? "

" The story of Jesus makes no sense to me. God sent his only son. Why could God only have one son and why would he have to die? It's just bad writing, really. And it's really terrible in about the second act. "

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" Me and Matt love to argue, but in general our sense of humor is pretty much alike. "

" I don't even know where Russia and Mexico are. "

" Even if you're not Christian, just from being in our culture you know Jesus and resurrection and redemption. "

" I was always a very happy, optimistic person. "

" If you ever go to Temple Square in Salt Lake City, if you stay there long enough, you'll see a homeless person standing in the middle of their nice, beautiful square, holding out a cup for change. And the Mormons don't ever ask him to leave. "

" No, writing musicals is the hardest thing in the world. And it was really funny, because I remember when the South Park movie came out, there were some critics that said, 'Well it's obvious that in order to get it to be 90 minutes they filled some time with music.' "

" Most people I know are not hard-core religious people. They are what I would call 'lightly religious.' So I don't buy the notion that we can't laugh about religion in America. "

" It's this simple law, which every writer knows, of taking two opposites and putting them in a room together. I love anything with Cartman and Butters at the same time, it's great. "

" Sean Penn's really the only one stupid enough to put anything down on paper. "

" We made this really dumb decision to put on the cover nothing from South Park but just a real life photo of a piece of pooh dressed up like Mr. Hankey, and a lot of people didn't, they didn't even know what it was. "

" I see Santa Claus and Joseph Smith and Luke Skywalker as the same person. "

" My favorite musical? I don't. It changes all the time. I'm just a diehard, I'm totally old school, like I'll sit and watch, if they are re-doing Oklahoma in New York, I will be the first one there. "

" I spend shockingly little time thinking about real-world stuff. "

" When you were a teenager in Colorado, the way to be a punk rocker was to rip on Reagan and Bush and what they were doing and talk about how everyone in Colorado's a redneck with a gun and all this stuff. "

" I got into this little habit of architecture and building. I designed a house in Colorado and one in Hawaii. The idea is supposed to be build and sell - but then I can never bring myself to sell them. "

" How many times have you been watching an episode of 'South Park' and thought, 'I'd like to be able to watch this on my television while hooked into my mobile device, which is being controlled by my tablet device which is hooked into my oven, all while sitting in the refrigerator?' "

" I've gotten to a point where I wouldn't direct someone else's material. It would only be something totally original. "

" Out of all the ridiculous religion stories - which are greatly, wonderfully ridiculous - the silliest one I've ever heard is, 'Yeah, there's this big, giant universe, and it's expanding, and it's all going to collapse on itself, and we're all just here, just 'cuz. Just 'cuz.' That to me, is the most ridiculous explanation ever. "

" Any job is a job. If you have to be doing something, then you're probably not enjoying it. "

" What we're always looking for is weird social issues and weird connections to make. Luckily for them, there's no shortage of material. "

" When I was a kid, to me, the Evergreen Players were the big time. "

" My first serious girlfriend, when I was 16, was Mormon. I went to her house for 'family home evening,' and I was like, 'Why aren't you people ignoring each other and watching television?' "