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" If you're going to go to an audition, you don't want to go in trying to force yourself into some archetype that has been thought up by a director and translated by a casting director. "

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" David Letterman was my guy growing up. My parents recorded the tenth anniversary special for me, and I watched it 40 times. "

Timothy Simons

Parents

Growing Up

" I got my SAG card doing a Kentucky Fried Chicken commercial in Chicago. "

" I'm very much in favor of vaccinations, and I've been very vocal about that because it's insane to forgo this. "

" My children, twins who are three years old, they're awful creatures right now. "

" Truthfully, I don't like the binge-watching model. I think that if you give everybody everything all at once, there's very much a law of diminishing returns as far as their enjoyment of them. "

" You're taught from a very young age that you shouldn't get too big for your britches, so I tend to err way too much on the side of 'Nothing means anything.' "

" I was born in the Northeast, and I have Midwestern parents. "

" IPods just made music about how many songs you could have on you at all times. "

" Unless you're playing a historical figure, a writer or director can change their minds. And sometimes your job is to make them change their minds - to make them believe that you're the one that can do it. "

" The one thing I always think about when I don't get jobs is that it just wasn't yours. You don't want to do something that you're not right for because it won't make the production look good, and it won't make you look good. "

" Reed Scott is really good at coming up with insults. "

" My first job in L.A. was actually playing an employee in a Best Buy commercial, but I played a bad employee at another store. I also worked at a commercial casting company running cameras and session directing. "

" I'm particularly bad at breaking if something's funny. I'm not professional, so I do often laugh, but less at what I do and more often at what other people do. "

" I'm a dog person, but I don't have a pet. "

" It's much harder to get a job if nobody wants you around. "

" I think the absolute worst job I ever had - not because it was a terrible job, just because I was just so bad at it - was when I worked at a scenic factory in Chicago. "

" When I was a carpenter, I built sets for small storefront Chicago companies. Like, I built sets for friends of mine at The House Theater. "

" I'm saying nothing new that Dave Pasquesi is really good at what he does. "

" Keeping children alive and free of disease is not a political issue and cannot be put into a partisan box. "

" I think I was a behavior problem, mostly, but in a fun way. I tried to tell jokes. I was the middle kid, so I was always looking for attention and trying to be the one that equalized everything. "

" I used to love going to shows and finding new bands, but the Internet takes the fun out of it. Like a band? You can buy and download every single song they have ever done within five minutes. "

" I'll believe I made it when I'm 100 years old, I'm still able to get work, and they're about to put me in a coffin, and I'll be like, 'Yeah, OK, it went all right.' But until then, I'm not saying it. "

Timothy Simons

Old

Believe

" I took one class at Second City called Improv for Actors, and that was it, and that was only because my agent told me I had to. "

Timothy Simons

City

Because

" I was born tall. I was awkward and gangly. Before that, I was a really chubby elementary school kid. I've always been sort of a physical abnormality. "

" The truth is, there is no link between vaccines and autism. Vaccines are incredibly important. "

" I started out with the intention of studying physics. I was a terrible high school student outside of the fact that I did well in physics, but there's a big difference between being good at physics and being a physicist, so I jettisoned that very quickly. "

" The Duplass brothers do that so well - that very simple, very horrifically awkward comedy. "

" I really wanted to go to a city and get involved in a theater scene and a theater community. I had some friends who had moved out to Chicago and had said really good things about it and about the work. I didn't care at that time about making money. "

" My dad's a photographer, and my sister is a writer and a poet. My little brother is a mandolin player - he's a bluegrass musician. It's always been a part of the family. "

" I don't have actors in my family, but everyone is pretty artistic. "