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" I'm very introspective, and I mostly don't talk to people. I get into a real quiet, meditative place. "
Roseanne Barr
Get
Quiet
Real
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" I actually regard Facebook as a huge bore, but I cannot refrain from participating in it. I guess I crave the feeling of hope it gives me to think that today will be different from yesterday, that I will find an interesting comment or poke or video, and on the extremely rare occasion when that happens, I am just thrilled. "
Roseanne Barr
Me
Think
Feeling
" We're not meant to be parents when we're 50. "
Roseanne Barr
Parents
Meant To Be
Meant
" Judaism is one of the last of the world's matrilineal philosophies. Matriarchies are always the cultures that patriarchy attacks and decimates, because they don't spend all their money on the military like patriarchy does. They are easy prey. "
Roseanne Barr
Always
Easy
Military
" Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive? "
Roseanne Barr
You
Time
Anger
" I can't have cats around me because they try to steal my energy. "
Roseanne Barr
Me
Cats
Steal
" I'm kosher except for times where I eat pork and shellfish. "
Roseanne Barr
Pork
Times
Except
" You can't break through Hollywood formulaic points of view. I've tried, and I think I was more successful than anybody at doing it. "
Roseanne Barr
You
Think
Successful
" And, you know, I liked writing humor. Well, I should say, I wanted to write seriously, but it kept turning funny. "
Roseanne Barr
Funny
You
Writing
" Facts and data, rather than opinion, are the two cornerstones of problem solving, and yet they are consistently withheld from the people by American media. We must have facts and data in order to recognize where there is a problem! "
Roseanne Barr
Facts
Problem
People
" I always had a dissociative disorder. But I healed from it over the course of 14 years of big-time therapy. But, you know, I mean, everybody's kind of loony now. So I was kind of a pioneer in the mental illness thing, too. "
Roseanne Barr
Know
Mental Illness
You
" You know, I'm blessed. 'Blessed' is a better way of saying 'rich.' "
Roseanne Barr
Saying
Better
Blessed
" Meditation state is a place of deep relaxation where you can pinpoint the things you do and to set a paradigm switch from effect to cause. So how to be a cause in your own life. "
Roseanne Barr
Place
Meditation
Own
" Women of this planet need some essential resources: wells, seeds and roads. That is primarily all we have ever needed. Added to that, women need righteous and strong men who will help us to use our most cherished gifts: the ability to multitask and problem solve. "
Roseanne Barr
Roads
Strong
Women
" A lot of people in television who've had successful shows claim the 'Roseanne' show as their starting place, and I'm really proud of that. "
Roseanne Barr
Place
Proud
Show
" As Prime Minister of Israel, I will introduce a bill into the Knesset that will simply pay the Arabs not to shoot at the Jews. "
Roseanne Barr
Pay
Israel
Shoot
" I wish I'd done a tenth year of the 'Roseanne' show. "
Roseanne Barr
Done
I Wish
Show
" I'm a farmer now, and it's fantastic. My goal is to be totally self-sufficient and grow everything that I eat. There's something about earning your dinner that's cool. "
Roseanne Barr
Farmer
Goal
Now
" You kind of restructure your whole personality to be in a healthy relationship. "
Roseanne Barr
Relationship
Personality
Healthy
" I'm not a politician. I think that uniquely qualifies me to become president of the U.S. "
Roseanne Barr
President
Me
Become
" Growing up in a Jewish matriarchal world inside the patriarchal paradise of Salt Lake City, Utah, gave me increased perspective on gender issues, as it also did my gay brother and my lesbian sister. Our younger sister is the perfect Jewish-American wife and mother, and is fiercely proud of that fact. "
Roseanne Barr
Mother
Wife
Sister
" I try to do women's-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, 'This is what I think; there's the truth.' I try to think of stuff that's real broad, but the more personal it is, the more universal it is. All my friends go through the same stuff. "
Roseanne Barr
Friends
Comedy
Try
" After my 1985 appearance on 'The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson,' I was wooed by producers in Hollywood, who told me they wanted to turn my act into a sitcom. "
Roseanne Barr
Turn
Me
Appearance
" It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it. "
Roseanne Barr
Up
You
Shut Up
" Comedy is the only hope for humanity. "
Roseanne Barr
Hope
Comedy
Only
" I'm God because I have the power to control my mind. "
Roseanne Barr
Mind
Power
Because
" Everything that's written about me has such a negative taint. It just has a life of its own, like an avalanche, and I don't think there's anything I can do to stop it. "
Roseanne Barr
Life
Me
Think
" I know that I pay 48 percent of my income to taxes. You know, I wouldn't mind so much if it wasn't going just to export war. If it was actually going to help the people of the United States, I would gladly pay more. "
Roseanne Barr
You
War
Mind
" I think that all comics or humorists, or whatever we are, ask questions. That's what we're supposed to do. But I not only ask the questions, I offer solutions. "
Roseanne Barr
Think
Solutions
Questions
" Birth control that really works - every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids. "
Roseanne Barr
Before
Bed
Night
" Patriarchy is a bully notion, which if you will notice never attacks a nation that can defend itself. Zionism is patriarchal and sets Judaism on its head. "
Roseanne Barr
Nation
Head
You