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" I know that I pay 48 percent of my income to taxes. You know, I wouldn't mind so much if it wasn't going just to export war. If it was actually going to help the people of the United States, I would gladly pay more. "

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" Both the Democratic and Republican parties are bought and paid for by corporate America and cater to the needs of the highest bidder as opposed to the people they claim to represent. I cannot be bought. "

Roseanne Barr

People

America

Claim

" I like to get people talking. I am a provocateur, and I do like getting on Twitter and riling people up. You know what, after a while some sane dialogue and sane conclusions come of that kind of thing. "

" They've said 'Roseanne's nuts' for years, and now I'm going to make that a reality - I'm all about nuts now, macadamia nuts! "

" My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel. "

" I think I should be here alone to rethink the world - I do. I want these lesser humans gone. "

" Meditation state is a place of deep relaxation where you can pinpoint the things you do and to set a paradigm switch from effect to cause. So how to be a cause in your own life. "

" 'Winning' in Hollywood means not just power, money, and complimentary smoked-salmon pizza, but also that everyone around you fails just as you are peaking. "

" Nothing real or truthful makes its way to TV unless you are smart and know how to sneak it in, and I would tell you how I did it, but then I would have to kill you. "

" I was not raised a Zionist, but a socialist, as were most Jews before the Holocaust. "

" I'm not a politician. I think that uniquely qualifies me to become president of the U.S. "

Roseanne Barr

President

Become

" You can't break through Hollywood formulaic points of view. I've tried, and I think I was more successful than anybody at doing it. "

" The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it. "

" A lot of people in television who've had successful shows claim the 'Roseanne' show as their starting place, and I'm really proud of that. "

" I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me. That's what I told my kids. "

" In order to be able to write a good joke, you have to find the truth. "

" I do kabbalistic meditation. It's not unlike time travel; it can change the past and not just the future. You can look at what was lost and go beyond the grief of what was lost. "

" The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest. "

" The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner. "

" Patriarchy is a bully notion, which if you will notice never attacks a nation that can defend itself. Zionism is patriarchal and sets Judaism on its head. "

" Women of this planet need some essential resources: wells, seeds and roads. That is primarily all we have ever needed. Added to that, women need righteous and strong men who will help us to use our most cherished gifts: the ability to multitask and problem solve. "

" I can't have cats around me because they try to steal my energy. "

Roseanne Barr

Cats

Steal

" I am an observant Jew! Now my secret is out. "

" I'm a comic, and I'm supposed to outrage and make people laugh, Part of makin' people laugh is to shake up their thinkin'. That's what I came here to do. "

Roseanne Barr

People

Comic

" Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself. "

" Facts and data, rather than opinion, are the two cornerstones of problem solving, and yet they are consistently withheld from the people by American media. We must have facts and data in order to recognize where there is a problem! "

" My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact. "

" I'm kosher except for times where I eat pork and shellfish. "

" Growing up in a Jewish matriarchal world inside the patriarchal paradise of Salt Lake City, Utah, gave me increased perspective on gender issues, as it also did my gay brother and my lesbian sister. Our younger sister is the perfect Jewish-American wife and mother, and is fiercely proud of that fact. "

" I always was a writer, but then I wanted to do stand-up because I thought that was a way that I could perform what I wrote. "

" TV family sitcoms have always been about fathers who know best and mothers who are so enchanted with everything they do. I wanted to be the first mom to be a mom on TV. I wanted to sent out a message about how us women really feel. "