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" I was devastated when I got the review for my first book. The book came out a couple years before the women's movement broke through, and people were putting it down, asking, 'Why does the woman in this book need to get a divorce? Why can't she just shut up and be happy?' "

Gail Sheehy

Women

She

Woman

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" It seems like, to me, somewhere between 30 and 35 is a really, really good time to turn your eggs into babies. "

Gail Sheehy

Turn

Time

" Would that there were an award for people who come to understand the concept of enough. Good enough. Successful enough. Thin enough. Rich enough. Socially responsible enough. When you have self-respect, you have enough. "

" When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. "

" I've had the experience of having a book praised but then it doesn't sell. Or not praised but then it sells. "

" In the case of my husband, we found that facing a life-threatening illness prodded us to make a dramatic change in our lives. "

" I'd visually have that idea. I'm diving off the end of the diving board. I'm not going to be worried about if I'm going to dive into a jellyfish or the water's going to be too cold or the boys are going to beat me. I'm just doing it. And if I do it, it's a good chance I'll make it. "

Gail Sheehy

Water

Chance

" I found the happiest woman in America is between 50 and 55, is happily married, has made significant progress in her career, and lives in a community where she can easily exercise outside. But the most important single thing was she had her last child before she was 35. "

" No one can control the aging process or the trajectory of illness. "

" Eventually, all mentor-disciple relationships are meant to pull apart, usually sometime in the mid-30s. Those who hang on, eventually the mentor drops the disciple, and that's no fun. "

" The first thing one notices about Jill Abramson is her short stature. The second is her intensity. "

" If you're the person living closest to the parent who's going to need help, and you take on the whole role of primary caregiver, you can be pretty sure your sibling who lives farthest away is going to call you and say, 'You don't know what you're doing.' Because they're not on the spot, and they probably feel guilty. "

" In 2009, I served as AARP's Ambassador of Caregiving. With a producer and cameraman, I traveled the country for months, interviewing hundreds of caregivers. "

" You have a new role: family caregiver. It's a role nobody applies for. You don't expect it. You won't be prepared. You probably won't even identify yourself as a caregiver. "

" No sooner do we think we have assembled a comfortable life than we find a piece of ourselves that has no place to fit in. "

" Over the next few years the boardrooms of America are going to light up with hot flashes. "

" If you begin to think you are solely responsible for keeping your loved one alive and safe, you will eventually find yourself playing God. This phase can develop into an unhealthy, codependent relationship. "

" Back in 1968, when I was 30, my entire life blew up. I had a life plan, and it collapsed for no rational reason. "

Gail Sheehy

Back

Life

" The secret of a leader lies in the tests he has faced over the whole course of his life and the habit of action he develops in meeting those tests. "

" It was so naive to think that there was nothing interesting that happened after 55. Come on, there's a whole second adulthood! "

" I found that female pathfinders generally integrate characteristics commonly associated with being women - like the capacity to be intimate - with 'male' ones like ambition and courage. "

" Adapting to our Second Adulthood is not all about the money. It requires thinking about how to find a new locus of identity or how to adjust to a spouse who stops working and who may loll, enjoying coffee and reading the paper online while you're still commuting. "

" This is something caregivers have to understand: You have to ask for help. You have to realize that you deserve to ask for help. Because you need to keep on working on your own life. "

" Sex and older women used to be considered an oxymoron, rarely mentioned in the same breath. "

" Creativity can be described as letting go of certainties. "

Gail Sheehy

Letting Go

Certainties

" Family caregiving has become a predictable crisis. Americans are living longer and longer but dying slower and slower. "

" When I was immobilized by fear, I might have a panic attack. I've had a couple of panic attacks in my life. "

" Like everyone else in the first weeks after the tragedy of 9/11, I was looking frantically for some way to help. "

" I'm a liberal, but I think there's so much that the private sector can do and does do. "

" Very few women manage to have it all; certainly not all at once. "

" Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. "