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" It seems like when I first started, people got into comedy because they wanted to be good comedians. "

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" I think sometimes celebrities can hurt a candidate. You don't want people to judge them on your last project. "

" D.C. is where I started. That's home for me. I always love coming back to the area. They treat me so well, and people show up. They're excited and claim me as their own. I love it. "

" It's not until you develop your own voice, your own persona onstage that you become your own comic, who you really are. "

" I remember, when I was a kid, my summers were pretty much running around, riding your bike, and then complaining about you were bored. "

" People - I hate to use the word 'fans' - are very respectful. It's not like I'm some pop idol or big movie star. I'm very approachable, and I love the people who enjoy me, because they react like they've run into a friend. Usually, it's like, 'Hey, Wanda! How ya' doing?' "

" I enjoy stand-up because it has the biggest reward: instant gratification. You can hear the people laughing. "

" But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that. "

" I love working with other actors and other people - you know, stand-up - it's lonely; it's just you out there and the audience. But it's fun working with other actors. I love doing that, too. "

" That's why I talk about the breast cancer: because I want women - and everyone - to stay on top of things and get checked. I know how scary it can be. When I dealt with it, I was like, 'Oh my God.' And I have so many other friends who have gone through it or have suffered a loss. "

" When I'm not on T.V. or working on a movie, I'm on the road doing stand-up. That's my roots. "

" I'm always thinking of stuff; I just don't sit down and write it. I come up with material more as I go along; if something funny happens, I'll make a note of it on my phone. "

" If I'm talking about something current, a current issue or something political, it's because I was able to read it when I was on the plane getting to the gig... a lot of it happens when I'm on the road because when I'm home, you're just mom, and that's it. "

" I noticed recently, in the last few shows I did, that I'm starting to get people - not a large group, but quite a few people - who come to see me because they love Curb Your Enthusiasm. "

" A woman would pitch a joke. Nothing. Then a guy would pitch it and everybody would laugh. "

" I tried snowboarding, and that scared the hell out of me. "

" I have a sidekick, Keith Robinson, who's very funny. I've known Keith for over 20 years; he's my best friend. "

" My wife asked me if I ever thought I would ever retire from stand-up. And I thought about it, and I was like, 'No, because it's my job; it's what I do, and I enjoy it.' It's still the most challenging thing for me to do. "

" People are going to label you anyway, but the one that bugs me the most is when they say, 'One of the funniest female comedians.' There's s no 'funniest male comedians.' You're either a funny comedian, or you're not! "

" Men are dogs. Men are dogs. We got to stop it. Men are not dogs. Uh-uh. Dogs are loyal. "

" I guess because of my act, people think that I say things they want to say, and that they can just come up and say anything to me. "

" I knew I was outspoken when I was a kid because, whenever my parents had company coming over, they would pay me to leave. 'Go see your grandmother. Get out of here.' That was my first paying gig. "

" In '87, I used to do this awful, awful James Brown impression. "

" It's hard to get fired from the government. You have to, like, kill people. "

" My worlds collide. When one things happens, it just starts a domino effect - everything else goes on. "

" I really can't pinpoint the one moment when I said I want to be a comic. "

" It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes. "

" Usually, there's nothing being thrown toward the stage or at me. Then I feel pretty good about it. "

" Don't bother me while I'm eating, or when I'm coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going. "

" I tried theatre. I played Miss Hannigan for a short run of Annie at a regional theatre. That was fun. I enjoyed it! I enjoy theatre and have so much respect for theatre actors. "

" Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire. "