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" I tried snowboarding, and that scared the hell out of me. "

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" My wife asked me if I ever thought I would ever retire from stand-up. And I thought about it, and I was like, 'No, because it's my job; it's what I do, and I enjoy it.' It's still the most challenging thing for me to do. "

" I was funny around my family. My family, they're pretty funny, too. "

" I work hard. The staff and crew see how much energy I put into this project, and it makes them step up. "

" I like doing a bunch of different things, being all over the place. "

" I worked with people like Edward Snowden. Well, not people who took stuff home. "

" I had real big boobs, and I just got tired of knocking over stuff. Every time I eat, 'Oh, Lord'. I'd carry a Tide stick everywhere I go. My back was sore, so it was time to have a reduction. "

" Then you had people who wanted to get into comedy just to get a TV deal. "

" I'm a huge Sia fan. I love Sia, I have just about all of her stuff. "

" A woman would pitch a joke. Nothing. Then a guy would pitch it and everybody would laugh. "

" That's why I talk about the breast cancer: because I want women - and everyone - to stay on top of things and get checked. I know how scary it can be. When I dealt with it, I was like, 'Oh my God.' And I have so many other friends who have gone through it or have suffered a loss. "

" I'm a stand-up comic. I'm always doing dates; it's just that, if I'm working on a project or I'm busy, I can't get out on the road or book any shows. Since the beginning of my career, I'm usually out for at least 10-15 dates throughout the year. If I have time, then I try to get at least 30-40 dates. "

" It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes. "

" I have a sidekick, Keith Robinson, who's very funny. I've known Keith for over 20 years; he's my best friend. "

" If a topic hits me, I'll start going on it. But you can't force it. "

" I watch Jay. I watch 'Letterman'. I flip back and forth between 'Conan' and 'Letterman', especially the top of the show for those guys. "

" Usually, there's nothing being thrown toward the stage or at me. Then I feel pretty good about it. "

" I noticed recently, in the last few shows I did, that I'm starting to get people - not a large group, but quite a few people - who come to see me because they love Curb Your Enthusiasm. "

" I really can't pinpoint the one moment when I said I want to be a comic. "

" The first time onstage, a light went on. 'OK, this is my thing. I'm comfortable here. This is my thing.' "

" I knew I was outspoken when I was a kid because, whenever my parents had company coming over, they would pay me to leave. 'Go see your grandmother. Get out of here.' That was my first paying gig. "

" I guess because of my act, people think that I say things they want to say, and that they can just come up and say anything to me. "

" It wasn't until after the reduction that in the lab work, the pathology, that they found that I had DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ) in my left breast. I was very, very lucky because DCIS is basically stage-zero cancer. So I was very lucky. "

" I'm constantly preparing. Material hits me; I'm always writing. I go back and listen to my shows and just prepare and put my set together. But the day of, I like to have some downtime. A nice lunch is important for me. "

" If you're passionate about your work, it makes the people around you want to be involved too. "

" People are going to label you anyway, but the one that bugs me the most is when they say, 'One of the funniest female comedians.' There's s no 'funniest male comedians.' You're either a funny comedian, or you're not! "

" It's hard to get fired from the government. You have to, like, kill people. "

" I'm finally just relaxed and comfortable with who I am. "

" I had breast cancer. Yeah, I know it's scary. "

" In '87, I used to do this awful, awful James Brown impression. "

" But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that. "