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" Laura Bush, it seems, is used to cast a softer light on her husband, who then proceeds to reverse whatever she's just promised. "

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" Jimmy Carter was unquestionably the most moral president of my lifetime, but he wasn't much of a president. "

" We should all laugh more at our elected officials - it's good for us and good for them. "

Elected Officials

" People asked me during the Iraq war if I was afraid to speak out. I said no. "

" You look at the large problems that we face - that would be overpopulation, water shortages, global warming and AIDS, I suppose - all of that needs international cooperation to be solved. "

" There is more hooey spread about the Second Amendment. It says quite clearly that guns are for those who form part of a well-regulated militia, i.e., the armed forces including the National Guard. The reasons for keeping them away from everyone else get clearer by the day. "

" I dearly love the state of Texas, but I consider that a harmless perversion on my part and discuss it only with consenting adults. "

" We liberals do sometimes forsake our vows of compassion for all mankind. "

" The stakes they play for in politics are paper and money. The chips they play with are your life. "

" One of the more urp-making habits of media mavens is presuming to speak for the American people, as in 'The American people won't stand for this!' "

" If you grew up white before the civil rights movement anywhere in the South, all grown-ups lied. They'd tell you stuff like, 'Don't drink out of the colored fountain, dear, it's dirty.' In the white part of town, the white fountain was always covered with chewing gum and the marks of grubby kids' paws, and the colored fountain was always clean. "

" I have long argued that no one should be allowed to write opinion without spending years as a reporter - nothing like interviewing all four eyewitnesses to an automobile accident and then trying to write an accurate account of what happened. "

" There's been a lot of experience with torture in history. It doesn't work. "

" On a personal note: I have contracted an outstanding case of breast cancer, from which I intend to recover. I don't need get-well cards, but I would like the beloved women readers to do something for me: Go. Get. The. Damn. Mammogram. Done. "

" As they say around the Texas Legislature, if you can't drink their whiskey, screw their women, take their money, and vote against 'em anyway, you don't belong in office. "

" One seldom expects the country's president to adequately note the passing of a rocker, but Jimmy Carter's assessment of Elvis Presley's appeal - 'energy, rebelliousness and good humor' - is remarkably close to the mark. "

" The reason I take Rush Limbaugh seriously is not because he's offensive or right-wing, but because he is one of the few people addressing a large group of disaffected people in this country. And despite his frequent denials, Limbaugh does indeed have a somewhat cult-like effect on his ditto heads. "

" Should a girl like me, in whom the milk of human kindness flows copiously for everyone, from protein-shy Hottentots to the glandular obese, actually aim a few swift boots at the prone form of Sen. Phil Gramm? Nah. But it's tempting. "

" Many a time freedom has been rolled back - and always for the same sorry reason: fear. "

" I believe in practicing prudence at least once every two or three years. "

" Having breast cancer is massive amounts of no fun. First they mutilate you; then they poison you; then they burn you. I have been on blind dates better than that. "

" I'm happy to be called a liberal. "

" It is the stories we don't get, the ones we miss, pass over, fail to recognize, don't pick up on, that will send us to hell. "

" Havin' fun while freedom fightin' must be one of those lunatic Texas traits we get from the water - which is known to have lithium in it - because it goes all the way back to Sam Houston, surely the most lovable, the most human, and the funniest of all the great men this country has ever produced. "

" From orphanages to space colonies, it was all shallow but endearingly enthusiastic futurism. Gingrich was the kind of person who read a book or two on something and would then be quite afire as to how this was going to fit into some shining future. "

" I couldn't find any way to tell the truth in a regular newspaper. "

" Conservatives, in general, are anti-immigrant for the same reasons they have always been anti-immigrant - a proud tradition in our nation of immigrants going back to the days of the Founders, when Ben Franklin thought we were going to be overrun by Germans. But Business likes illegal workers. "

" How come trying to explode myths about Texas always winds up reinforcing them? "

" There is never anyone quite so wonderful as the people who were seniors when you were a freshman. "

" Laws were changed and regulations repealed until an Enron can set sail without responsibility, supervision, or accountability. "

" If Bush does make it to the White House, he and Laura should have Ken Starr over for dinner. "