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" Let's say there was a fat guy heckling me. I would rip him to shreds, but I would never go for the obvious, never talk about how he's fat or anything. "

Judah Friedlander

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" I've been doing stand-up just about every night since I started in 1989. It's my home base. But I'm into doing comedy in all mediums, platforms and situations. "

Judah Friedlander

" Tina Fey is really cool. She's so mellow and laid back. "

Judah Friedlander

" I watch a movie or a T.V. show or whatever; if it's good, I like to watch it more than once, and it's always fun to catch something you didn't see initially. "

Judah Friedlander

" No, don't learn at karate schools. They overcharge you for karate uniforms. They make you pay, like, fifty or seventy-five bucks just for a karate uniform, and you don't wear a uniform in everyday life, so why train in one? Most fights take place outdoors, not inside with perfect lighting and mats. "

Judah Friedlander

" I became a wrestling fan in college. So, I was more of a wrestling fan as an adult than when I was a little kid. "

Judah Friedlander

" I'm a massive Steven Seagal fan. I know his movies are horrible, but I've watched all of them over and over again. I'd want to do a movie with him and Van Damme. "

Judah Friedlander

" I'd like to work with John Waters. I grew up in Maryland, so I'm a huge Waters fan. "

Judah Friedlander

" You jump on a bike and start peddling. You fall down and you get up again. I've always been a 'learn by doing' kind of guy. "

Judah Friedlander

" I'm an extra dark black belt in ping pong. "

Judah Friedlander

" When I'm not filming anything or on the road doing stand-up, I'm usually doing stand-up shows every night - usually a few shows a night at different clubs in the city. "

Judah Friedlander

" I had one girl send me an e-mail saying she wants to go out with me, but it's like a two-pronged deal because she wants to blog the date. And I'm like, No! I don't want to be on a reality show. "

Judah Friedlander

" You can literally walk into my apartment and sit on a hat; you can step on a hat; you can probably open up the refrigerator and find a hat tucked under some rotten food. I have a lot of hats. "

Judah Friedlander

" If you are doing stand-up comedy, you have to be confident in what you are doing. That doesn't mean just because you are confident you are funny. "

Judah Friedlander

" I think some people's comedy IQ's aren't as high as other people's, so they don't really know what's going on. Or they think they know what's going on, but they don't really. "

Judah Friedlander

" Soccer and ping-pong are my two favorite sports to play. "

Judah Friedlander

" I've been driving in the city for years because, as a stand-up in N.Y.C., you can perform at more comedy clubs a night if you have a car. Getting from club to club by subway is too slow at night and too expensive by cab. So, many comics live far out from Manhattan and drive in every night. "

Judah Friedlander

" I started doing my own animated movies when I was in ninth grade; that's when I got the filmmaking bug. When I was about 16, I started writing jokes for doing stand up, and then I was 19 and started doing stand up. "

Judah Friedlander

" I need to get a wife. But it's hard, you know, it's hard to find a girl you can trust. Some of these girls, they want to go out with you so they can blog about you. "

Judah Friedlander

" I never got into things to be famous. Sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's annoying. "

Judah Friedlander

" I'm a big Pacino fan. He's a great actor: so much passion and intensity. "

Judah Friedlander

" My act's not heavy on pop culture or stories, just lots of jokes. "

Judah Friedlander

" I've been doing stand-up since '89. "

Judah Friedlander

" I never wanted to be famous. "

Judah Friedlander

" I sort of have to self-censor sometimes. "

Judah Friedlander

" It wasn't like I just woke up and said, 'Here's my gimmick; I'll wear a hat and put something weird on it.' "

Judah Friedlander

" I am the greatest marital artist in the world. "

Judah Friedlander

" As the World Champion, every day is pretty much like Valentine's Day for me - as far as hooking up with the ladies. "

Judah Friedlander

" I like hanging out at non-showbizzy places. "

Judah Friedlander

" Stand-up comedy is the most relaxing thing I do. If I want to unwind and de-stress, I go out and do stand-up, often several shows in a night. "

Judah Friedlander

" Sometimes '30 Rock' was a struggle because I'd be doing the show and still be doing stand-up full-time. "

Judah Friedlander