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" If you are doing stand-up comedy, you have to be confident in what you are doing. That doesn't mean just because you are confident you are funny. "

Judah Friedlander

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" It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down. Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified. "

Gilbert K. Chesterton

" Funny thing is that the poorer people are, the more generous they seem to be. "

" Memories are doing funny things to us. "

" Everybody complains about getting older, but I find it such a rich time of life. There are negative things about it, I suppose, but more than that, I'm finding it to be a very positive experience in which growth suggests itself in a much more alluring way than it did when I was young - isn't that funny? "

" Someone told me that when they go to Vermont, they feel like they're home. I'm that way at Saks. "

" I think you figure out how to be funny by necessity. It's not a natural thing, being funny in the face of tragedy is kind of demented. "

" The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them. "

" If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? "

Abraham Lincoln

" I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink. "

" I love fools' experiments. I am always making them. "

" By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out. "

Richard Dawkins

" 'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels' is a good one because it not only turned out, I think, to be a really funny movie but it was also a delight to shoot. We were in the South of France, working with Glenne Headly and Michael Caine and Frank Oz the director - who were just fun. "

" I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. "

" TV is chewing gum for the eyes. "

Frank Lloyd Wright

" She was a handsome woman of forty-five and would remain so for many years. "

J. B. Priestley

" I had one girl send me an e-mail saying she wants to go out with me, but it's like a two-pronged deal because she wants to blog the date. And I'm like, No! I don't want to be on a reality show. "

Judah Friedlander

" I'd like to work with John Waters. I grew up in Maryland, so I'm a huge Waters fan. "

Judah Friedlander

" The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around. "

Thomas A. Edison

" I became a wrestling fan in college. So, I was more of a wrestling fan as an adult than when I was a little kid. "

Judah Friedlander

" Things that I feel really sad about, I talk about. That way, if it's funny, it doesn't hurt anymore. "

" It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to. "

" I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. "

" Being nice can be funny. A lot of my jokes are like, 'Let me take a bad situation and try to put the best spin on it.' "

" I went to private school for a very long time, and we always wore uniforms. Then in third grade, I switched to a public school, so I was so excited to wear what I wanted on the first day. I remember I chose this orange hoodie with a skirt, and it's so funny when I think about it now because my style really hasn't changed that much. "

" I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I think that is right. Seventy-four per cent of the time. "

" You meet folks who are funny and really smart and persistent and loving that are confronting this thing we call poverty, which is just a shorthand for this way of life that holds you underwater. And you just wonder what our country would be if we allowed these people to flourish and reach their full potential. "

Matthew Desmond

" You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think. "

" I like hanging out at non-showbizzy places. "

Judah Friedlander

" Every girls' night needs a funny movie and a good conversation about guys! My friends and I also love picking outfits out for each other to try on at slumber parties. It's so fun. "

Jennette McCurdy

" I own and operate a ferocious ego. "