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" There were a lot of lyrics that I sang but didn't understand. But I had this facade in performance of looking like I wrote the book. "

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" I never thought about living in New York. I just thought it was great. "

" I think it's the wrong way around to say, 'When you get older move to the country.' I think when you get older you move to New York. "

" I love New York. I went to New York to become an actress, and I did it. And I won all the awards known to man. And I'm happy. And I came home. I came, I saw, I conquered. And it feels great. "

" I don't think I'm gonna die tomorrow or even two weeks from now, or even ever. I just don't know - who the hell knows what's gonna happen to them? Nobody! Isn't that comforting? Nobody has a clue. I like that we don't know. And I like that it's somebody else's decision, not mine. "

" I always say, 'If you can't give a reason for the banana peel being in the alley, then don't have the comic slide over it.' Do you understand what I mean? First explain how the banana peel got there quickly. And then there's a reason for all the comedy. "

" I think I have more humour in me than anger. But those two things are great bed-fellows, performance-wise. "

" There will always be ladies who lunch. Always. And apparently they live a long time. "

" Talent is seductive. "

" I mention I'm going home, and I'm a star immediately! This used to happen with my boyfriends - as soon as I'd say, 'I gotta go home now,' they fell in love. "

" Quite frankly I don't know how to be happy. I have not a clue. "

" I love Birmingham, Michigan. It's lovely - you know, it's very similar to the Hamptons. "

" I smoked, I drank, I did all the kicking my heels up type things, but I went to Mass on Sunday. "

" Betty White is probably a very nice woman. "

" When the hospital sends for me, when the ambulance comes and I ease my way out of the world, I'd rather be in Detroit, Michigan, than Lenox Hill. "

" Honestly, this is a big thing to say, but I don't think I've ever been bored. If I even get an inkling of it, I split. "

" You can't be funny unless you're tragic, and you can't be tragic unless you're funny. "

" I just serve others through entertaining. That's when I am happy. "

" I don't want to see a movie twice. I don't want to do anything twice. "

" I'm loaded with talent. "

" All you have to do is say, 'I'm going home,' and you're the most popular girl at the party. "

" I like celebrities. I love people who are famous. Always have. "

" This age thing is all up to you. It's like happiness is up to you. You just have to understand what it is before you get it. "

" Why haven't I made more movies? Nobody asked me. "

" There are a lot of things I do that I don't want to, but I have to. It's truly an emotional need for me to perform. "

" When I'm playing comedy, it is such a crap shoot of what will work and what won't. "

" If I see someone saying the rosary in the wings, I know they've got talent. "

" I love reviews. Anybody who tells you they don't read reviews is a liar. "

" You have to be very, very good looking to get ahead in motion pictures. "

" If I see a great performance on television, onstage, in the movies, I go to work the next day with a renewed energy and less fear. These great artists take me out of my life and make me want to go there. "

" What I want to understand is what I am talking about on the stage. What I don't want to understand is what the government is talking about when the government tells me about taxes. "