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" This age thing is all up to you. It's like happiness is up to you. You just have to understand what it is before you get it. "

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" My biggest dream was to get out of Michigan - to discover life beyond the Sacred Heart Convent. "

" The people in New York - their humor is on a level that goes, uh, very deep, you know? "

" Quite frankly I don't know how to be happy. I have not a clue. "

" I never found anyone who could look after me as well as I could look after myself. "

" New Yorkers stop me on the street all the time to say, 'You're terrific! You're the nuts!' "

" As a diabetic, I'm a walking picnic. I have to eat measured amounts of food at certain times. "

" I find it easier to abstain than do a little bit of anything. I'm not a 'little bit' kind of dame. I want it all, whatever I do. "

" These performers that go on about their technique and craft - oh, puleeze! How boring! I don't know what 'technique' means. But I do know what experience is. "

" Honestly, this is a big thing to say, but I don't think I've ever been bored. If I even get an inkling of it, I split. "

" There's certainly nothing lasting and definite about the theater. "

" I love reviews. Anybody who tells you they don't read reviews is a liar. "

" I loved being on Broadway, but performing has become exhausting, and I just don't want to live in New York anymore. I'm just sick of the competition in New York, the feeling that I always have to rehearse to keep up my performance. I don't feel like rehearsing, even though it should be my favorite thing in the world to do. "

" I don't have a great talent for explaining myself in acting because I can't explain it. "

" I think I have more humour in me than anger. But those two things are great bed-fellows, performance-wise. "

" I love holidays in New York. I love 'em. I want to celebrate something all the time, and New York has holidays for every day of the week, practically. I like holidays in New York City. "

" For me, going to London is like coming home. In fact, I've often entertained the idea of ending my days there. "

" I mention I'm going home, and I'm a star immediately! This used to happen with my boyfriends - as soon as I'd say, 'I gotta go home now,' they fell in love. "

" I care about money, very much. I want it. I don't ever want to be without it. My mother once said about me, 'Elaine has to have money.' "

" I think the most interesting New Yorkers are the people who were not born here. "

" I tell the truth, and it has gotten me into a lot of trouble. My dad used to say to me, 'If you tell the truth all day long, you will end up in jail.' "

" I love Birmingham, Michigan. It's lovely - you know, it's very similar to the Hamptons. "

" Betty White is probably a very nice woman. "

" Talent is very dangerous. It alienates people. "

" My idea of serenity - that wonderful word that everybody's trying to get into their life - is call-waiting. "

" I don't think I'm gonna die tomorrow or even two weeks from now, or even ever. I just don't know - who the hell knows what's gonna happen to them? Nobody! Isn't that comforting? Nobody has a clue. I like that we don't know. And I like that it's somebody else's decision, not mine. "

" Making clever speeches takes a lot of work and a lot of time. "

" I never thought about living in New York. I just thought it was great. "

" I can't explain chemistry. I really can't. I haven't got a clue what it's all about. It just happens. It's like falling in love. You can't explain why you fall in love or explain why it's this particular person. "

" I could have made a lot of money doing 'Golden Girls,' and I would have been good. But the image of it! And for me to work with Betty White every day would be like taking cyanide. "

" You never know what is happening to yourself when it is happening. "