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" New York is just as provincial as anyone else. "

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" I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. "

" So keep fightin' for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't you forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. "

" Fourteen-year-old boys are not part of a well-regulated militia. Members of wacky religious cults are not part of a well-regulated militia. Permitting unregulated citizens to have guns is destroying the security of this free state. "

" I couldn't find any way to tell the truth in a regular newspaper. "

" How come trying to explode myths about Texas always winds up reinforcing them? "

" It is possible to read the history of this country as one long struggle to extend the liberties established in our Constitution to everyone in America. "

" I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle. "

" I'm happy to be called a liberal. "

" Jimmy Carter was unquestionably the most moral president of my lifetime, but he wasn't much of a president. "

" The Internet goes doot-doot-doot - it goes sideways. There's nothing hierarchical about it. And the best thing about it is also the worst thing about it, which is there are no gatekeepers on the Internet. Consequently, there's a whole lot of bad information on the Internet. But I think that sorts itself out over time. "

" I only aim at the powerful. When satire is aimed at the powerless, it is not only cruel - it's vulgar. "

" When satire is aimed at the powerless, it is not only cruel - it's vulgar. "

" In order to understand why George W. Bush doesn't get it, you have to take several strands of common Texas attitude, then add an impressive degree of class-based obliviousness. What you end up with is a guy who sees himself as a perfectly nice fellow - and who is genuinely disconnected from the impact of his decisions on people. "

" We liberals do sometimes forsake our vows of compassion for all mankind. "

" Texas is still resistant to Howard Johnsons, interstate highways and some forms of phoniness. It is the place least likely to become a replica of everyplace else. It's authentically awful, comic, and weirdly charming, all at the same time. "

" Here's the deal on Texas. It's big. So big, there's about five distinct and different places here, separated from one another geologically, topographically, botanically, ethnically, culturally, and climatically. "

" The stakes they play for in politics are paper and money. The chips they play with are your life. "

" Racists seem obsessed by the idea that illegal workers - the hardest-working, poorest people in America - are somehow getting away with something, sneaking goodies that should be for Americans. You can always avoid this problem by having no social services. This is the refreshing Texas model, and it works a treat. "

" In most legislatures, punctilious attention to correct usage is considered elitist. The word 'government,' for example, is normally pronounced 'gummint'; bureaucracy is 'bureaucacy'; fiscal comes out 'physical,' and one moves not to suspend the rules, but to 'suppend.' "

" One seldom expects the country's president to adequately note the passing of a rocker, but Jimmy Carter's assessment of Elvis Presley's appeal - 'energy, rebelliousness and good humor' - is remarkably close to the mark. "

" The reason I take Rush Limbaugh seriously is not because he's offensive or right-wing, but because he is one of the few people addressing a large group of disaffected people in this country. And despite his frequent denials, Limbaugh does indeed have a somewhat cult-like effect on his ditto heads. "

" I spent my girlhood as a Clydesdale among thoroughbreds. "

" Being slightly paranoid is like being slightly pregnant - it tends to get worse. "

" As I occasionally survey the pack of sycophantic shih tzus in the Washington press corps, wriggling on their bellies to kiss the feet of those in power, I feel plumb discouraged about the future of journalism. "

" I have long argued that no one should be allowed to write opinion without spending years as a reporter - nothing like interviewing all four eyewitnesses to an automobile accident and then trying to write an accurate account of what happened. "

" In all my fantasies, I always assumed I would get married and have six children along the way with the greatest of ease. "

" If Democrats in Washington haven't got enough sense to own the issue of political reform, I give up on them entirely. "

" I've said it before: War brings out the patriotic bullies. In World War I, they went around kicking dachshunds on the grounds that dachshunds were 'German dogs.' They did not, however, go around kicking German shepherds. "

" Having breast cancer is massive amounts of no fun. First they mutilate you; then they poison you; then they burn you. I have been on blind dates better than that. "

" I don't think I've decided much in my life. Don't you think life just happens? "