Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead. "

Related Quotes:

" We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings. "

" My failed corporate career became the fodder for the 'Dilbert' comic. Once it became clear I would not be climbing any higher on the corporate ladder, it freed me to mock managers without worrying that it would stall my career. Most failures create some sort of unplanned freedom. I took full advantage of mine. "

" If you see voters as rational, you'll be a terrible politician. People are not wired to be rational. Our brains simply evolved to keep us alive. Brains did not evolve to give us truth. Brains merely give us movies in our minds that keeps us sane and motivated. But none of it is rational or true, except maybe sometimes by coincidence. "

" I think 'Dilbert' will remain popular as long as employees are frustrated and they fear the consequences of complaining too loudly. 'Dilbert' is the designated voice of discontent for the workplace. I never planned it that way. It just happened. "

" When times are bad, the gloves come off and employers are less nice. People become disposable. "

" I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing. "

" Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel. "

" For most of my career I did one comic a day, every day, including weekends and holidays. "

" I get mail; therefore I am. "

" In fact, most people are being squeezed in their little cubicle, and their creativity is forced out elsewhere, because the company can't use it. The company is organized to get rid of variants. "

" I have an endless stream of suggestions coming in from readers who are in cubicles. That keeps me going. "

" I would sometimes sit in a crowded restaurant, and say, 'You know, I'm the only person in this restaurant who can't draw.' "

" When you hire that first person, then you're a boss. You've got performance reviews. You've got complaints about not making enough money. You've got people who are just going to sell your story to the tabloids. "

" Many, if not most, career opportunities come to you through people you know. So the more people you know, the more opportunities you have. Improving your social network is a great example of a system for moving from lower odds to better odds without having a specific goal. "

" There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives. "

" If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done. "

" Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end. "

" The world is like a reverse casino. In a casino, if you gamble long enough, you're certainly going to lose. But in the real world, where the only thing you're gambling is, say, your time or your embarrassment, then the more stuff you do, the more you give luck a chance to find you. "

" Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. "

" I'm surrendering myself to the realities of the Internet. "

" Technology will definitely solve all our problems, but in the process it will create brand new ones. But that's O.K. because the most you can expect from life is to get to solve better and better problems. "

" I try to avoid giving advice. "

" There are always deadlines I have to meet. I don't let myself get too close to the deadlines, so it's not like I'm just sweating bullets or anything if the clock is ticking. I never let myself get in that situation. "

" Success is entirely accessible, even if you happen to be a huge screw-up 95 percent of the time. "

" Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep. "

" If you drill down on any success story, you always discover that luck was a huge part of it. You can't control luck, but you can move from a game with bad odds to one with better odds. You can make it easier for luck to find you. The most useful thing you can do is stay in the game. "

" I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else. "

" Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results. "

" I'm a poor artist. Through brute force, I brought myself up to mediocre. I've never taken a writing class, but I can write okay. "

" I'm primarily just an investor. "