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" When you hire that first person, then you're a boss. You've got performance reviews. You've got complaints about not making enough money. You've got people who are just going to sell your story to the tabloids. "

Scott Adams

Story

Money

Boss

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" You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public. "

" I try to manage my day by my circadian rhythms because the creativity is such an elusive thing, and I could easily just stomp over it doing my administrative stuff. "

" Work is like the rest of life. The best parts are free. "

Scott Adams

Free

Best

" I'm not happy on vacation. In those rare times when I have three hours with no work I have to do, I'm terribly uncomfortable. "

" Every skill you acquire doubles your odds of success. "

" I'm a poor artist. Through brute force, I brought myself up to mediocre. I've never taken a writing class, but I can write okay. "

" Obviously there's not much options when you're a cartoonist - you pretty much either work at home or rent an office I guess, and working at home just seems easier. "

" Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart. "

" I don't get embarrassed by the same things that other people do. I would say that probably the biggest thing that holds people back is, 'If I do this, I'm going to look like an idiot if it doesn't work out.' "

" The most important thing when you study hypnosis is that you learn that humans are irrational. Until you understand that, hypnosis is hard to do... For me, it was this great awakening to understand that humans are deeply irrational, and it's probably the greatest influence on me in terms of my writing. "

Scott Adams

Writing

You

" My old life - no amount of getting used to it would have made it right. "

" In fact, most people are being squeezed in their little cubicle, and their creativity is forced out elsewhere, because the company can't use it. The company is organized to get rid of variants. "

" Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. "

" If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done. "

" The longer you work here, diverse it gets. "

" My investments have been hurt. "

" Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end. "

" The computer cuts my production time in half. I love it. "

" I think if you talk to anybody who ever went from not having much to having enough to buy what they wanted, they're always happier. Now I get that whole '$75,000 a year is some kind of magic number,' but my experience is 'more is better, up to a point.' Then there's a point where it doesn't make any difference. "

" Success is entirely accessible, even if you happen to be a huge screw-up 95 percent of the time. "

" Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams. "

" One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead. "

" There's kind of a toll you have to pay with a cat; if you don't pet her for 10 minutes she'll bother you for six hours. "

" Beware of advice about successful people and their methods. For starters, no two situations are alike. Your dreams of creating a dry-cleaning empire won't be helped by knowing that Thomas Edison liked to take naps. "

" Many, if not most, career opportunities come to you through people you know. So the more people you know, the more opportunities you have. Improving your social network is a great example of a system for moving from lower odds to better odds without having a specific goal. "

" If you drill down on any success story, you always discover that luck was a huge part of it. You can't control luck, but you can move from a game with bad odds to one with better odds. You can make it easier for luck to find you. The most useful thing you can do is stay in the game. "

" I have an endless stream of suggestions coming in from readers who are in cubicles. That keeps me going. "

Scott Adams

Stream

Coming

" If your goal is to lose 10 pounds, you may wake up each day with failure in mind because the goal is hard to reach, and you are progressing only by small amounts. It takes up all your willpower. I recommend that instead of a goal, you have a system. "

" Women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally handicapped are treated differently. "

" Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel. "