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" People vote based on emotion. Period. "

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" Home is pretty utopian. "

" Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results. "

" One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead. "

" I love magazines. It's such McNugget kind of information. "

" One strategy for getting ahead is being incredibly good at a particular skill; you need to be world-class to stand out for that skill. In my case, I layered fairly average skills together until the combination became special. "

" The best things in life are silly. "

" I'm predicting that we'll finally have a computer will search my e-mail automatically and delete every message that begins with 'thought you'd be interested,' and then give an electrical shock to the sender to remind him or her to stop send that kind of message. "

" There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives. "

" I get mail; therefore I am. "

" Obviously there's not much options when you're a cartoonist - you pretty much either work at home or rent an office I guess, and working at home just seems easier. "

" The computer cuts my production time in half. I love it. "

" I try to manage my day by my circadian rhythms because the creativity is such an elusive thing, and I could easily just stomp over it doing my administrative stuff. "

" Technology will definitely solve all our problems, but in the process it will create brand new ones. But that's O.K. because the most you can expect from life is to get to solve better and better problems. "

" The only risk of failure is promotion. "

" I'm surrendering myself to the realities of the Internet. "

" It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation. "

" Some of my best friends are Venture Capitalists, but let's face it, a hamster with Alzheimer's could make those kind of numbers. It's great work if you can get it. "

" The longer you work here, diverse it gets. "

" Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge. "

" Rotten bosses don't get better. Any strategy that assumes they can is doomed. "

" Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel. "

" Women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally handicapped are treated differently. "

" Beware of advice about successful people and their methods. For starters, no two situations are alike. Your dreams of creating a dry-cleaning empire won't be helped by knowing that Thomas Edison liked to take naps. "

" I'm a poor artist. Through brute force, I brought myself up to mediocre. I've never taken a writing class, but I can write okay. "

" Success is entirely accessible, even if you happen to be a huge screw-up 95 percent of the time. "

" I have an endless stream of suggestions coming in from readers who are in cubicles. That keeps me going. "

" We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings. "

" I think if you talk to anybody who ever went from not having much to having enough to buy what they wanted, they're always happier. Now I get that whole '$75,000 a year is some kind of magic number,' but my experience is 'more is better, up to a point.' Then there's a point where it doesn't make any difference. "

" In fact, most people are being squeezed in their little cubicle, and their creativity is forced out elsewhere, because the company can't use it. The company is organized to get rid of variants. "

" 'Dilbert' became popular during the downsizing of the '90s, and job security was a major theme of the strip. "