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" The longer you work here, diverse it gets. "

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" I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else. "

" Before 'Dilbert,' I tried to become a computer programmer. In the early days of computing, I bought this big, heavy, portable computer for my house. I spent two years nights and weekends trying to write games that I thought I would sell. Turns out I'm not that good a programmer, so that was two years that didn't work out. "

" The only risk of failure is promotion. "

" Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge. "

" You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public. "

" I burned out my drawing hand by using it too much. The common word for it is writer's cramp. The fancy words for it are focal dystonia. The symptom in my case was a pinky finger that went spastic when I tried to draw. "

" Many, if not most, career opportunities come to you through people you know. So the more people you know, the more opportunities you have. Improving your social network is a great example of a system for moving from lower odds to better odds without having a specific goal. "

" Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems. "

" There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives. "

" Home is pretty utopian. "

" Women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally handicapped are treated differently. "

" If a job's worth doing, it's too hard. "

" You give anybody a billion dollars, and of course they are passionate. Passion is one of those things like willpower in that there's 'magical thinking' about it. You've got to be careful about 'magical thinking.' "

" I have an endless stream of suggestions coming in from readers who are in cubicles. That keeps me going. "

" You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me. "

" For most of my career I did one comic a day, every day, including weekends and holidays. "

" I think 'Dilbert' will remain popular as long as employees are frustrated and they fear the consequences of complaining too loudly. 'Dilbert' is the designated voice of discontent for the workplace. I never planned it that way. It just happened. "

" Some of my best friends are Venture Capitalists, but let's face it, a hamster with Alzheimer's could make those kind of numbers. It's great work if you can get it. "

" Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel. "

" I've tried lots of things. The reality is, I'm excited by everything on Day 1. And if by Day X things aren't working the way I hoped, I lose my passion. I have not seen the correlation between my passion and my success. "

" There's kind of a toll you have to pay with a cat; if you don't pet her for 10 minutes she'll bother you for six hours. "

" There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot. "

" I'm a poor artist. Through brute force, I brought myself up to mediocre. I've never taken a writing class, but I can write okay. "

" I've always defined myself not as a cartoonist, but as an entrepreneur. That was true before I tried cartooning. I always imagined cartooning would be how I got my seed capital. I always thought my other businesses would be the less dominant part of my life. "

" I'm not happy on vacation. In those rare times when I have three hours with no work I have to do, I'm terribly uncomfortable. "

" I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing. "

" 'Dilbert' became popular during the downsizing of the '90s, and job security was a major theme of the strip. "

" I try to manage my day by my circadian rhythms because the creativity is such an elusive thing, and I could easily just stomp over it doing my administrative stuff. "

" If your current get-rich project fails, take what you learned and try something else. Keep repeating until something lucky happens. The universe has plenty of luck to go around; you just need to keep your hand raised until it's your turn. It helps to see failure as a road and not a wall. "

" For most people, it's easy to be passionate about things that are working out, and that distorts our impression of the importance of passion. I've been involved in several dozen business ventures over the course of my life, and each one made me excited at the start. You might even call it passion. "