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" If a job's worth doing, it's too hard. "

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" I'm a poor artist. Through brute force, I brought myself up to mediocre. I've never taken a writing class, but I can write okay. "

" Women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally handicapped are treated differently. "

" Success is entirely accessible, even if you happen to be a huge screw-up 95 percent of the time. "

" I think 'Dilbert' will remain popular as long as employees are frustrated and they fear the consequences of complaining too loudly. 'Dilbert' is the designated voice of discontent for the workplace. I never planned it that way. It just happened. "

" The longer you work here, diverse it gets. "

" I've always defined myself not as a cartoonist, but as an entrepreneur. That was true before I tried cartooning. I always imagined cartooning would be how I got my seed capital. I always thought my other businesses would be the less dominant part of my life. "

" There are always deadlines I have to meet. I don't let myself get too close to the deadlines, so it's not like I'm just sweating bullets or anything if the clock is ticking. I never let myself get in that situation. "

" When you hire that first person, then you're a boss. You've got performance reviews. You've got complaints about not making enough money. You've got people who are just going to sell your story to the tabloids. "

" One of the reasons why you like to do your own drawings is, your style changes over time. And there's something about that that keeps it fresh to the viewer. "

" My old life - no amount of getting used to it would have made it right. "

" We don't always have an accurate view of our own potential. I think most people who are frightened of public speaking and can't imagine they might feel different as a result of training. Don't assume you know how much potential you have. Sometimes the only way to know what you can do is to test yourself. "

" Many, if not most, career opportunities come to you through people you know. So the more people you know, the more opportunities you have. Improving your social network is a great example of a system for moving from lower odds to better odds without having a specific goal. "

" I try to avoid giving advice. "

" I'm predicting that we'll finally have a computer will search my e-mail automatically and delete every message that begins with 'thought you'd be interested,' and then give an electrical shock to the sender to remind him or her to stop send that kind of message. "

" I get mail; therefore I am. "

" If your goal is to lose 10 pounds, you may wake up each day with failure in mind because the goal is hard to reach, and you are progressing only by small amounts. It takes up all your willpower. I recommend that instead of a goal, you have a system. "

" Obviously there's not much options when you're a cartoonist - you pretty much either work at home or rent an office I guess, and working at home just seems easier. "

" Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems. "

" Normal people... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet. "

" Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel. "

" There's kind of a toll you have to pay with a cat; if you don't pet her for 10 minutes she'll bother you for six hours. "

" Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end. "

" Rotten bosses don't get better. Any strategy that assumes they can is doomed. "

" Psychology is the only necessary skill for running for president. Trump knows psychology. "

" If you drill down on any success story, you always discover that luck was a huge part of it. You can't control luck, but you can move from a game with bad odds to one with better odds. You can make it easier for luck to find you. The most useful thing you can do is stay in the game. "

" One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead. "

" The computer cuts my production time in half. I love it. "

" Before 'Dilbert,' I tried to become a computer programmer. In the early days of computing, I bought this big, heavy, portable computer for my house. I spent two years nights and weekends trying to write games that I thought I would sell. Turns out I'm not that good a programmer, so that was two years that didn't work out. "

" People vote based on emotion. Period. "

" Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the company. The safest approach is to remove all useful information. "