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" The mind starts to do things that you didn't even realize it could do. I suppose it's the manipulation. I suppose it's the sense of power, the center of attention, and the me-ism. And performers have to have that. "

Johnny Carson

Mind

Power

Attention

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Moment

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" If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. "

" For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. "

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" Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined. "

" My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day. "

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" Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president. "

Johnny Carson

President

Grow Up

" I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself. "

" Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. "

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" Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do. "

" We're more effective than birth control pills. "

Johnny Carson

Control

Birth Control

" If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam. "

" Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?' "