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" If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. "

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" People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading. "

Logan Pearsall Smith

" I have really fond memories of growing up in Chicago, and I always love going back. I still have a lot of really good friends from high school that I go to dinner with. It's kind of become a tradition when I go out there to do a show to give a few friends a call, tell some funny stories about high school and walk down memory lane. "

" I'm never afraid to try something if I think it's funny. And I know I'll regret it if I don't. "

Seann William Scott

" During the Great Depression, when people laughed their worries disappeared. Audiences loved these funny men. I decided to become one. "

" Boston is actually the capital of the world. You didn't know that? We breed smart-ass, quippy, funny people. Not that I'm one of them. I just sorta sneaked in under the radar. "

" My life needs editing. "

" A cultural thing that is funny to me is that every time I go out in D.C. after a show, all the nightclubs and restaurants are owned by Iranians and Afghans. It's funny to me how we lost our countries but we gained the nightlife. "

" I always find it actually funny that the analysis is that the characters I play in comedies are the manchild, the adolescent, characters that refuse to grow up. And yet, if you look back in the history of comedy all the way back to the Marx brothers, that's a big part of comedy. "

" I definitely started to perform a little bit in middle school, but not the typical musical/play route. I think that I am funny, but it was more of a social thing, where that was my part in my circle of friends. "

" It's a funny thing, the less people have to live for, the less nerve they have to risk losing nothing. "

Zora Neale Hurston

" I own and operate a ferocious ego. "

" We didn't even think about it, you know? I used to collect laser discs, and you'd have some college professor analyzing It's a Wonderful Life or Citizen Kane, and now it is pretty funny - the idea of commentary for a silly kid's movie, you know? "

" When I go to a bar, I don't go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine. "

" Weather forecast for tonight: dark. "

" Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. "

" A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book. "

Ernest Hemingway

" I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me. "

" I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons. "

" I exaggerate all our selves, our beings. I make fun of everything: of our life and what we are. But I don't tell jokes, really. I just exaggerate life, and it comes out funny. "

" Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint. "

" I basically started performing for my mother, going, 'Love me!' What drives you to perform is the need for that primal connection. When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being entertaining, you make a connection with another person. "

" I call myself the Amusement Park. That's because I'm funny and scary at the same time. "

" I think I knew I was funny in Elementary School. I think most funny people realize it when they're young. It tends to come out of stress or trauma - something that makes you want to be funny. "

" I'm not a fan of any genre but am a fan of movies that are intelligent and/or funny. That goes across all genres: a horror movie, a zombie movie, alien invaders, chick flick, or raunchy comedy. If it's well done, I'm a fan. "

" My mother was against me being an actress - until I introduced her to Frank Sinatra. "

Angie Dickinson

" I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I think that 'Hangover II' is as funny as 'The Hangover I,' honest to God, but I think that it's a little bit darker, and the stakes are a little bit higher. "

" If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster. "

" What most readers do not realize is that it takes a particular genius to write funny, to satirize. "

" He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow. "