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" The most futuristic aspect of the House of the Future was that it was made almost entirely of plastic. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Most
House
Almost
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" Harvard is the home of American ideas. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Ideas
Home
American
" There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Consequences
You
Right
" The C student starts a restaurant. The A student writes restaurant reviews. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Student
Restaurant
Reviews
" Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Death
Dying
Child
" I'm not a tech-savvy parent. I communicate with my children via the old-media format called yelling. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Communicate
Children
Parent
" If we were to inspect ourselves or members of our family and our friends, we would see that we don't really have to go all the way overseas to be mystified - we can be mystified right at home. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Family
Friends
Home
" Cars let us out of the barn and, while they were at it, destroyed the American nuclear family. As anyone who has had an American nuclear family can tell you, this was a relief to all concerned. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Tell
Family
Barn
" If you talk to most businessmen, they'll say that what they do is for the public good, but you know they're just greedy, and consumers are just consuming for the sake of their own greed. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Say
You
Good
" The Afghans themselves say that if you put two Afghans in a room, you get three factions. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Get
You
Two
" Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Government
Whatever
Policy
" I have never been to a museum in Hong Kong, or a movie or a play. I've never gone club-hopping. I've never taken the tram to Victoria Peak. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Museum
Gone
Hong Kong
" In the Soviet Union, no industry went under until they all did. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Soviet
Industry
Soviet Union
" President Obama has contempt for real money. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Money
Obama
Real
" I like fiction and the kind of history that gives the grace and flavor of fiction to the past. No bloviation on current events, please. I can write that junk myself. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Past
Grace
History
" Detroit's industrial ruins are picturesque, like crumbling Rome in an 18th-century etching. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Like
Industrial
Ruins
" Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Power
Car
Giving
" Teasing and a sense of humor, if you can develop that in your kids, and if you can exercise it with the kids, just makes for a pleasanter atmosphere. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Sense Of Humor
Humor
Exercise
" Like most sensible people, you probably lost interest in modern art about the time that Julian Schnabel was painting broken pieces of the crockery that his wife had thrown at him for painting broken pieces of crockery instead of painting the bathroom and hall. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Time
Art
Broken
" There is no horizon in Toledo. There are too many trees. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Many
Horizon
Trees
" They are just really stupid people in Hollywood. You write them a script, and they say they love it, they absolutely love it. Then they say, 'But doesn't it need a small dog, and an Eskimo, and shouldn't it be set in New Guinea?' And you say, 'But it is a sophisticated romantic comedy set in Paris.' "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Stupid
Romantic
" I usually agree with Rush Limbaugh; therefore I usually don't listen to him. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Agree
Rush
Therefore
" The young are adept at learning, but even more adept at avoiding it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
More
Learning
Even
" There are a few things that people all around the world need to admit to themselves. Trade restraints slow economic growth, the euro is not a reserve currency, and scoreless sports ties are boring. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Sports
World
Slow
" Charles McCarry is the best modern writer on the subject of intrigue - by the breadth of Alan Furst, by the fathom of Eric Ambler, by any measure. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Measure
Intrigue
Best
" Neither liberal nor conservative politicians can resist the temptation to stand as mighty sequoias of rectitude amid the lowly underbrush of fundraising. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Liberal
Stand
Temptation
" The U.S. tax code was written by A students. Every April 15, we have to pay somebody who got an A in accounting to keep ourselves from being sent to jail. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Jail
Accounting
Pay
" After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Yourself
Enjoy
Place
" President Bush said that if illegal immigrants want citizenship, they'd have to do three things: pay taxes, hold meaningful jobs, and learn English. Bush doesn't meet those qualifications. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Immigrants
Citizenship
Meet
" Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Good
Sympathy
" There isn't much room for an outsider point of view in print any more. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Point Of View
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