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" I'm not a tech-savvy parent. I communicate with my children via the old-media format called yelling. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Communicate
Children
Parent
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" When I was fifteen, I dreamed of living in the big city, as many a young person does if he is artistic and sensitive. By 'artistic and sensitive' I mean short, skinny, unkissed, bad at sports, and carrying a C average in high school. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Sports
School
City
" In theory, taxes should be like shopping. What I buy is government services. What I pay are my taxes. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Taxes
Government
Like
" Libertarianism is a way of measuring how the government and other kinds of systems respect the individual. At the core of libertarianism is the idea that the individual is sacrosanct and that anything that's done contrary to the well-being of the individual needs some pretty serious justification. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Serious
Done
Way
" Kabul is a walled city, which sounds romantic except the walls are pre-cast reinforced concrete blast barriers, 10 feet tall and 15 feet long and moved into place with cranes. The walls are topped with sandbags, and the sandbags are topped with guard posts from which gun barrels protrude. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Gun
Romantic
Long
" Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Government
Good
" Sheep farming is heavily subsidized in Great Britain. Without the subsidies, the green grazing in the valley of the River Exe would be gone. The handsome agricultural landscape of which the British are so proud, carefully husbanded since Boudicca's day, would be replaced by natural growth. The most likely growth is real-estate developments. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Day
Growth
Proud
" The young are adept at learning, but even more adept at avoiding it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
More
Learning
Even
" Catchphrases flourish in contemporary American English. "
P. J. O'Rourke
English
American
Flourish
" The people who despise America are the editors of the 'New Statesman.' Their green-card applications must have been turned down. "
P. J. O'Rourke
People
New
America
" The words 'Space Age' have a quaint, nostalgic tone - sitting on midcentury modern furniture watching 'The Jetsons.' "
P. J. O'Rourke
Space
Age
Furniture
" All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Bad
Change
Done
" Term limits aren't enough. We need jail. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Need
Term Limits
Enough
" There's something about Marxism that brings out warts; the only kind of growth this economic system encourages. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Only
Economic
Growth
" There are a few things that people all around the world need to admit to themselves. Trade restraints slow economic growth, the euro is not a reserve currency, and scoreless sports ties are boring. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Sports
World
Slow
" Mistreatment of al Qaeda members and their friends and hangers-on is something I number among my moral concerns. But it's number 1,000,000,001. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Something
Among
Moral
" Why is Iraq so easy to harm and so hard to help? "
P. J. O'Rourke
Help
Why
Iraq
" When you're a war correspondent, the reader is for you because the reader is saying, 'Gee, I wouldn't want to be doing that.' They're on your side. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Saying
Doing
Side
" I look around my house, and everything except the kids and dogs was made in China. And I'm not sure about the kids. They have brown eyes and small noses. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Small
House
Everything
" Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living. "
P. J. O'Rourke
People
Stay
Living
" Guns are the ultimate bulwark against government misbehavior. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Against
Guns
Government
" There is only one thing that gives me hope as a Republican, and that is the Democrats. It's going to be hard to do a worse job running American than the Republicans have, but if anybody can do it, it's the Democrats. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Republican
American
Hope
" Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren't present. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Flattery
Gossip
" The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Average
Dressed
Better
" Detroit is beautiful - though you probably have to be a child of the industrial Midwest, like me, to see it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Beautiful
You
See
" We all know the types who listen to Pete Seeger songs; even Pete admits they aren't interesting. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Interesting
Who
Songs
" Californians are people who insist on growing their own vegetables, but they won't dig up the pretty lawn, won't plant anything for fear of getting dirty, and they use fragrant bath salts from The Body Shop instead of smelly compost. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Growing
Plant
People
" All business is capitalistic. You require capital for any sort of business endeavour. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Capital
Sort
" In Henry Adams, I discovered not only the prototype of the modern thinker but also someone who is more interesting: a viper-toothed, puling, supercilious crank, thwarted in ambition, aging gracelessly, mad at the cosmos, and ashamed of his own jejune ideals. He is nevertheless very dear to me. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Aging
Me
Mad
" I believe in God. God created the world. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Believe
God
Created
" Raining on parades requires no skill or effort on the part of a politician. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Skill
Effort
Part