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" There isn't much room for an outsider point of view in print any more. "

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" As a nation, Kuwait has been, arguably, free of freedom itself. Claimed in turn by Constantinople, Riyadh, and Baghdad, Kuwait has survived by playing Turks off Persians, Arabs off one another, and the English off everyone. "

" I'm not a tech-savvy parent. I communicate with my children via the old-media format called yelling. "

" They are just really stupid people in Hollywood. You write them a script, and they say they love it, they absolutely love it. Then they say, 'But doesn't it need a small dog, and an Eskimo, and shouldn't it be set in New Guinea?' And you say, 'But it is a sophisticated romantic comedy set in Paris.' "

" You don't despair about something like the Middle East, you just do the best you can. "

" The District of Columbia is an extreme example of disconnect between financial input and educational outcome. Unfortunately, extreme is not the same as abnormal. "

" One of the few benefits of being a journalist is that you're not in the Army. "

" The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to. "

" Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living. "

" Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such an excellent banjo player that you almost don't wish you had a pair of wire cutters. "

" In Toledo, people grow out. Out to the suburbs. Out to the parts of America where the economy is more vigorous. And all too often, out to 48-inch waistbands. "

" I'm really tired of virtue. "

" The idea of a world where all people are alike - in wealth or in anything else - is a fantasy for the stupid. "

" The real purpose of welfare is to get rid of poor people entirely. Everybody knows welfare has bad effects; that's the point. "

" The average IQ in America is - and this can be proven mathematically - average. "

" Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. "

" In the Soviet Union, no industry went under until they all did. "

" Jimmy Carter was - he still - he remains to this day America's most ex of ex-presidents. You just can't believe that we elected this doofus. He was a bright enough guy and sort of well-meaning. But he was about as prepared to be president of the United States as your goofy old uncle, you know, the one that memorises baseball statistics. "

" Obama's space policy doesn't differ much from George W. Bush's. "

" What is obnoxious about the motives of politicians - whatever those motives may be - is that politicians must announce their motives as visionary and grand. "

" No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it's probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are. "

" People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively. "

" Everybody in America who didn't come over the Bering Strait ice bridge stole his land from somebody else. "

" Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. "

" There are a number of Americans who shouldn't vote. The number is 57 percent, to judge by the combined total of Clinton and Perot ballots in the 1996 presidential election. "

" Richard Nixon was the best thing that ever happened to journalism. I mean this guy was wonderful. Just when you thought he could get no worse, he got worse. "

" I like making things. I have a wood shop at home. I am a terrible carpenter but I love doing it. "

" A deadly sins addendum is long overdue. Life has changed since Pope Gregory the Great scribbled his initial list in the sixth century. "

" Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly. "

" I like to have interesting things to write about. And when one says something is 'interesting,' one almost always means 'bad.' "

" We have the British motor industry as a role model for what happens when you try to save an industrial dinosaur. Britain was the first country to industrialise and the first to de-industrialise. We should learn from this. "