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" Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Good
Sympathy
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" The car provided Americans with an enviable standard of living. You could not get a steady job with high wages and health and retirement benefits working on the General Livestock Corporation assembly line putting udders on cows. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Line
You
Retirement
" Global warming is a fact. Now it's up to liberals to make it a reality. Hence there is crucial importance in preventing powerful, greedy free market forces from getting in the way of worsening storms and rising sea levels. The Kyoto Accord is a good first step. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Free
Good
Powerful
" Regulation creates a moral hazard. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Hazard
Regulation
Moral
" I like to argue with the radio. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Like
Radio
Argue
" Disney's House of the Future had the clean simplicity prized in the 1950s as relief from decades of frayed patchwork, jury-rigging, and make-do clutter caused by Depression and war. "
P. J. O'Rourke
War
Depression
Future
" The beauty of democracy is that an average, random, unremarkable citizen can lead it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Random
Beauty
Democracy
" I live in New Hampshire. We're in favor of global warming. Eleven hundred more feet of sea-level rises? I've got beachfront property. You tell us up there, 'By the end of the century, New York City could be underwater,' and we say, 'Your point is?' "
P. J. O'Rourke
New York
You
City
" Thank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I've been able to convince all three of my children to become investment bankers. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Three
You
Thank You
" Is Bill Clinton so good at politics, or are other politicians so bad? "
P. J. O'Rourke
Other
Good
Bad
" The Tea Party has definitely increased political involvement, not only among Tea Party members but among people who oppose the Tea Party members. It's been a general stimulus. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Political
Only
Party
" No Americans wants to see somebody lose their house because of health bills. Their boat? Maybe. Maybe the boat. But not the house. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Health
Because
Lose
" I'm too tough and sensitive to have to have some pubescent twerp with his mom's earring in his tongue, who combs his hair with Redi-Whip and has an Ani DiFranco tattoo on his shin, come show me how a computer works. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Tongue
Tough
Me
" Stupid is a great force in human affairs. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Force
Affairs
Great
" Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Love Is
Love
Bad
" All religions must be made child-proof. Our teachers' unions have done good work in this field, K through 12. Delaying first communions and bar mitzvahs until age 21 would be another positive step. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Done
Work
Step
" One nice thing about making jokes is that you don't have to prove them. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Jokes
Making
Nice
" We journalists don't have to step on roaches. All we have to do is turn on the kitchen light and watch the critters scutter. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Light
Step
Turn
" In Toledo, people grow out. Out to the suburbs. Out to the parts of America where the economy is more vigorous. And all too often, out to 48-inch waistbands. "
P. J. O'Rourke
More
Grow
People
" Maybe climate change is a threat, and maybe climate change has been tarted up by climatologists trolling for research grant cash. It doesn't matter. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Climate Change
Research
Change
" On inspection, Gaudi's architecture isn't whimsical at all. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Whimsical
Architecture
Inspection
" We did not become libertarians because we are altruists. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Because
Become
Did
" In Hong Kong there is agglomeration beyond my fondest imaginings. The Kowloon district claims a population density four times that of New York City. "
P. J. O'Rourke
New York
Beyond
City
" There is the love and marriage and family kind of happiness, which is exceedingly boring to describe but nonetheless is important to have and dreadful not to have. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Family
Marriage
Love
" The Afghans themselves say that if you put two Afghans in a room, you get three factions. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Get
You
Two
" Soldiers are not policemen, and it's very unfair, even for those soldiers who have some police training, to burden them with police duties. It's not what they're trained for, or equipped for. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Soldiers
Some
Training
" A humorist doesn't really do that much note-taking. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Humorist
Really
Much
" No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Journalism
Memory
Print
" Fascism is very much a mob movement. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Much
Fascism
Mob
" Rich people don't like to be in the military. The shoes are ugly and the uniforms itch. Rich people don't go in much for revolution or terrorism, either. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Ugly
People
Revolution
" The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Kiss
Holiday