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" In the Soviet Union, no industry went under until they all did. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Soviet
Industry
Soviet Union
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" People say, 'Oh, politics is so polarized today,' and I'm thinking... '1861, that was polarized.' "
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" I write because I like to make things and the only things I am good at making things with are words. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Words
Write
Good
" The idea of a world where all people are alike - in wealth or in anything else - is a fantasy for the stupid. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Fantasy
People
World
" Democrats hate America being a world power because world power gives power to the nation instead of to Democrats. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Hate
Nation
Power
" The minute somebody joins a committee... they immediately suffer from committee brain. They become wildly over-enthusiastic, over-optimistic, over-pessimistic. Committees turn people into idiots, and politics is a committee. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Politics
People
Brain
" Adam Smith pointed out that there were three things that make us more prosperous, in a general sort of way: freedom to pursue our own self-interest; specialization, which he called division of labor; and freedom of trade. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Own
Three
Way
" I'm too tough and sensitive to have to have some pubescent twerp with his mom's earring in his tongue, who combs his hair with Redi-Whip and has an Ani DiFranco tattoo on his shin, come show me how a computer works. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Tongue
Tough
Me
" Predicting innovation is something of a self-canceling exercise: the most probable innovations are probably the least innovative. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Most
Something
Exercise
" The body is forever teaching us lessons. There are all sorts of things that we can't do, shouldn't do, had better not do very often or do for too long as we get older. The body makes its presence known. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Forever
Body
Long
" The killjoys initiated automobile crash standards so rigorous that we can't buy a car that hasn't been dropped from the top of a phone pole with our whole family strapped inside. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Family
Standards
Top
" Teasing and a sense of humor, if you can develop that in your kids, and if you can exercise it with the kids, just makes for a pleasanter atmosphere. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Sense Of Humor
Humor
Exercise
" Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Society
Alcohol
Ignorance
" Tel Aviv is new, built on the sand dunes north of Jaffa in the 1890s, about the same time Miami was founded. The cities bear a resemblance in size, site, climate, and architecture, which ranges from the bland to the fancifully bland. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Sand
Time
Size
" I am unboreable in the great outdoors. "
P. J. O'Rourke
I Am
Am
Great
" America is a meritocracy. "
P. J. O'Rourke
America
" Gay marriage acceptance is happening in the blink of an eye. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Gay
Marriage
Eye
" America gives every appearance of being a nation besotted with trashiness - divorce, illegitimacy, casual Fridays. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Nation
Appearance
America
" There is no 20-year period in American history when stocks lost money. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Money
Lost
Stocks
" I don't think anybody's really been successful with theorizing about value or creating a price theory. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Think
Successful
Creating
" Freedom is for fun. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Fun
Freedom
" The 1960s was an era of big thoughts. And yet, amazingly, each of these thoughts could fit on a T-shirt. "
P. J. O'Rourke
T-Shirt
Big
Thoughts
" I'm on Medicare now. If I go and have a big operation, it costs me nothing. It should cost me a little. I'm not rich, but I can afford a few grand if I have to have my appendix taken out. I can pitch in a little bit. "
P. J. O'Rourke
I Can
Nothing
Go
" Children live in the only successful Marxist state ever created: the family. 'From each according to his ability, to each according to his need' is the family's practice as well as its theory. Even with today's scattershot patterns of marriage and parenting, a family is collectivist to a more than North Korean degree. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Today
Marriage
Family
" My wife and I both come from Irish families. There are two kinds of Irish families: the hitting kind and the kidding kind. If you're fortunate - and both of us are - you come from the kidding kind of Irish family. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Two
Family
Irish
" The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Kiss
Holiday
" Opinions of language are as interesting as opinions of arithmetic. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Opinions
Language
Interesting
" One of the few benefits of being a journalist is that you're not in the Army. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Army
You
Journalist
" The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Average
Dressed
Better
" 'You're stupid,' is not something even his most severe critics usually say to President Barack Obama. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Critics
President
" There are two factors in American politics that may seem strange to Europeans: race and religion. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Race
Religion
Two