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" The narcissist act is not an act. I actually am a narcissist, very much so. My world revolves around me. "

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" My writing is authentic, and whatever happens in my life is what I write about. "

" I think I just pick really smart and motivated people to work with - people who are probably going to do great things anyway - and I just teach them what I know, maybe teach them how to think a little clearer than they did before, and then off they go. "

" The point of psychoanalysis is to really understand the roots of your behavior. Understand why you are doing the things you're doing - and connect your unconscious to your conscious. "

" At some point in their life, everyone thinks they should go to law school. You may in fact think you want to go to law school now. "

" There aren't a whole lot of people in culture that are unapologetically masculine. "

" Look at the scope of writers who sell stuff. I'm at the very top of the power curve in terms of sales. "

" It is hard for me to be vulnerable, because I never learned how to do that. I was never vulnerable in a safe way. "

" General reader feedback is usually pretty worthless. 99% of people give feedback that is irrelevant, stupid, or just flat out wrong. But that 1% of people who give good feedback are invaluable. "

" Publishing companies are like schoolyard bullies that can't even fight well. "

" Having a soft major is nowhere near the career death sentence that so many make it out to be. The world is changing, and the U.S. economy with it. Our economy is shifting to a service- and information-based economy, and soft majors are already becoming more and more valuable. "

" If you like to argue just for the sake of being contentious, you shouldn't pick a job based on this unresolved emotional issue of yours, you should get counseling for it. "

" I always laugh when people call me a misogynist. I... love women! Everything I do is to impress women. And if I hated women, why would half my fans be women? "

" I try to explain to people that the only way to be cool is to be who you truly are, and the only way to live life is to do the things that you want to do and be the person that you want to be no matter who that is or what that is or how you have to do it. That's the only way you can be genuinely happy. "

" If you don't have a job right now, and you have a computer and a basic intelligence level, I guarantee you can get a great job, paying really well, in less than three months. How? Learn to program. "

" I sold a million books because I have a lot of fans, not because people hate me. "

" No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that's not funny. I only write about the funny stuff. "

" Books are so cheap and easy to get that people don't bother stealing them, which is the essential rule of piracy that the music business learned much too late. "

" Frankly, I'd rather make a little bit less money if it means living in a better world for books and publishing in the future. "

" A personal brand is relevant to people who sell or create something relevant to who they are as a person. If you're not in that boat, which most people are not, personal branding makes no sense. "

" I have tons of fans in Canada. I've sold hundreds of thousands of books there. "

" I think that there's a lot of guys out there that want to read the equivalent of chick lit, but really there's not being much written for them. "

" I'm not West Coast at all. I was born in Atlanta, but I grew up in Kentucky, outside of Lexington, in Winchester. "

" My parents got divorced when I was around a year old. My dad was essentially a nonentity in my life until I got to be about 16 or so. My mom was a flight attendant for PanAm, so I moved all over the world. London, Rio de Janeiro. "

" I'm never going to be Tolstoy. "

" There is no number or level of success that would make me think, 'Wow, I didn't think that was possible.' "

" I was not developmentally disabled, but didn't mature at the same rate other kids did. "

" Usually, whatever people's particular political leaning is, they either think I'm just like them or the opposite. "

" Helping reproductive services doesn't just help women in isolation. It helps men just as much. "

" I want someone who is my partner in life. Who supports me, and I support her. I can share all my experiences in life with her, and she can share hers back with me. Not only do we love each other, but we accept, embrace, nurture, and care for each other. "

" I don't even pursue girls anymore. I mean, I could obviously still pursue girls. It's not like I can't. But I don't have to pursue girls anymore. Girls come to me. "