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" Look at the scope of writers who sell stuff. I'm at the very top of the power curve in terms of sales. "

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" No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that's not funny. I only write about the funny stuff. "

" Publishing companies are like schoolyard bullies that can't even fight well. "

" I've never really had a media edifice supporting me. "

" There is always more demand for great content then there will be great content to satisfy it. "

" Social media for the majority of companies is not about helping customers or improving products. "

" There aren't a whole lot of people in culture that are unapologetically masculine. "

" I'm a decent-looking guy, but I've never walked into a room and got a girl because of how I looked. Look, I'm never excluded because of my looks. I just don't stand out. "

" I started my blog in 2002. That was pre-MySpace, pre-Facebook. That was back before newspapers realized they were going out of business. That was back when no one gave any credence to Internet writers. "

" I have tons of fans in Canada. I've sold hundreds of thousands of books there. "

" The point of psychoanalysis is to really understand the roots of your behavior. Understand why you are doing the things you're doing - and connect your unconscious to your conscious. "

" When I give speeches at college, I don't tell stories, I talk about what it is to live your dreams and take the path less traveled. "

" I want someone who is my partner in life. Who supports me, and I support her. I can share all my experiences in life with her, and she can share hers back with me. Not only do we love each other, but we accept, embrace, nurture, and care for each other. "

" Corporate tweets are like one robot talking to another. "

" Frankly, I'd rather make a little bit less money if it means living in a better world for books and publishing in the future. "

" Having a soft major is nowhere near the career death sentence that so many make it out to be. The world is changing, and the U.S. economy with it. Our economy is shifting to a service- and information-based economy, and soft majors are already becoming more and more valuable. "

" I think that there's a lot of guys out there that want to read the equivalent of chick lit, but really there's not being much written for them. "

" Calling one thing 'literature' and another 'fiction' is a way to create status where there is none. "

" If your parents ignored you, or if they are just not emotionally available, or if they yell a lot, that is a type of trauma. "

" I'm not West Coast at all. I was born in Atlanta, but I grew up in Kentucky, outside of Lexington, in Winchester. "

" My writing is authentic, and whatever happens in my life is what I write about. "

" If you like to argue just for the sake of being contentious, you shouldn't pick a job based on this unresolved emotional issue of yours, you should get counseling for it. "

" Women always want the guy that other women want. "

" Anything that reflects the human condition back on humans in the entertainment medium is art. "

" I was not developmentally disabled, but didn't mature at the same rate other kids did. "

" Usually, whatever people's particular political leaning is, they either think I'm just like them or the opposite. "

" I sold a million books because I have a lot of fans, not because people hate me. "

" It is hard for me to be vulnerable, because I never learned how to do that. I was never vulnerable in a safe way. "

" I'm never going to be Tolstoy. "

" I think I just pick really smart and motivated people to work with - people who are probably going to do great things anyway - and I just teach them what I know, maybe teach them how to think a little clearer than they did before, and then off they go. "

" If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail. "