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" There are these showcase clubs where 14 guys will go on in a row and people are laughing at everything, and I'm like - 'I can't laugh that much. That's so weird to me.' "
Norm MacDonald
People
Laugh
Me
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" I started on 'Saturday Night Live' the same time Conan started on Late Night. We just had a relationship because I would be upstairs in the studio and whenever he couldn't get a guest - which was often back then since he was just starting out - he would just call me down to be a guest. "
Norm MacDonald
Relationship
Live
Me
" I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can't stay in the same place. People think you're a loser. "
Norm MacDonald
Think
You
Loser
" When I was young, I'd watch guys on 'The Tonight Show', Buddy Hackett, guys like that, where all they'd be is funny. Later, I remember, on 'Late Night with Letterman', I remember he'd have Jay Leno and Richard Lewis as first guests and the entire point was to entertain and be funny, and I think talk shows have kind of lost that. "
Norm MacDonald
Night
Think
Funny
" If you're watching a comedian on television and he's making a political point, I would say he's gotten too serious. "
Norm MacDonald
Political
Say
Serious
" I don't have any ego about it, but I find there's not a great work ethic in show business. A lot of people are in it to make money, and coming from stand-up, you have to work so hard because almost nothing works, and if you lose the audience for three minutes, you're dead. "
Norm MacDonald
Business
Great
People
" I'm happy doing stand-up, but I'll probably do a television show eventually. If not, I'll delve into this Internet world and decide best how to harness it. What I like best about it is the independent movie style and the ability to just be completely reckless within that world. I like that a lot. I just have to acquaint myself with technology. "
Norm MacDonald
Technology
Style
Myself
" I watch political shows for a number of weeks in a row, and all I see are guys arguing with each other over issues I have no idea about. My brother, he loves war-torn places. My dad would always read the paper and tell me I should watch CNN, but I usually wind up watching 'Breaking Bad.' "
Norm MacDonald
Political
Wind
Watch
" In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That's what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn't have a stupid opinion about it. "
Norm MacDonald
Stupid
Out
You
" I never do impressions, but I probably should. People like that stuff. "
Norm MacDonald
Like
Stuff
Impressions
" I didn't really want to inject myself into anything political. A lot of people were asking me at the time about Jay and Conan, and I hate doing anything serious. "
Norm MacDonald
Time
Political
People
" I don't like sports where it's like, you watch a guy on a motorcycle flip or something, then another guy does it, it looks exactly the same, and then at the end one guy gets higher points! It seems so arbitrary; I don't know who's ahead ever. "
Norm MacDonald
Sports
Motorcycle
End
" I'm no good at anything but comedy, which I think I'm good at. I'm absolutely no good at networking; I'm terrible at acting; I'm terrible at dealing with executives; I'm terrible at collaborating. And I say whatever I want to say. But I think I'm good enough at comedy that I can survive. And I don't really have an ambition for money. "
Norm MacDonald
Good
Ambition
Money
" I think clever people think that poor people are stupid. "
Norm MacDonald
Clever
Stupid
Think
" I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical. "
Norm MacDonald
Punch
Always
Joke
" You're trying your best to make people laugh; then if you fail, they hate you. But your intent's the same. It's not like you're trying to do evil to them. "
Norm MacDonald
Hate
Evil
Best
" I love writing - it's the best. But I really hate collaboration. "
Norm MacDonald
Collaboration
Writing
Love
" I miss seeing real comics, Shecky Greene and Buddy Hackett, those types. I like straight stand-up, talking about the Olympics and why I feel obligated to watch them. 'Why am I watching archery at 4 in the afternoon?' "
Norm MacDonald
Seeing
Feel
Real
" I have always loved Las Vegas. It's a traditional place for lounge comics to perform, and I love that. "
Norm MacDonald
Loved
Always
Vegas
" I'm not gay, so I don't know much about Broadway musicals. "
Norm MacDonald
Gay
Broadway
Musicals
" Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny. "
Norm MacDonald
Surprises
You
Laugh
" You can't love your team without hating another team. "
Norm MacDonald
Hating
Love
Team
" I just like doing standup, that's all I'm interested in or good at. "
Norm MacDonald
Doing
Good
Just
" With the computer and stuff, the difference between a rich guy and a poor guy, to me, is nothing. Because I don't like big houses, I don't drive a car, so you know, I just live in a small apartment and I have my computer, which is really cool. "
Norm MacDonald
Drive
Cool
Small
" I don't really like doing big stand-up. Whenever I do theaters, I don't like 'em. I don't think they're right for stand-up. I've seen people in theaters, and it just doesn't work, because you're talking to the guy next to you the whole time. "
Norm MacDonald
Work
You
Think
" I sort of have open invitations from a lot of people to do TV. But it's very hard for me to do roles in sitcoms and movies because I'm not a great actor, so if the material isn't good, I'm in torment while I do it. "
Norm MacDonald
Movies
Good
Great
" My dad had this thing - everyone in Canada wants to play hockey; that's all they want to do. So when I was a kid, whenever we skated my dad would not let us on the ice without hockey sticks, because of this insane fear we would become figure skaters! "
Norm MacDonald
Play
Canada
Fear
" Stand-up has the best writers, because it's the hardest writing by a million miles. "
Norm MacDonald
Writing
Miles
Hardest
" So much in L.A. is waiting. It's so irritating. That's what's good about stand-up. You can go away, and you don't have to sit and wait by your phone. But it is very frustrating. "
Norm MacDonald
Good
You
Waiting
" All my life's about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn't cost very much money. "
Norm MacDonald
Me
Money
People
" I've just seen really, really funny guys, and if I didn't know them, I wouldn't know they were funny from the television. I don't know what it does, it just sucks it away. "
Norm MacDonald
Away
Funny
Just