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" The best stuff - the most interesting stuff - usually happens when I allow myself to be in the moment and working from that space. "

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" I just want to open people's eyes to different things. "

" People are just so insensitive because they're ignorant; they don't understand, so they're scared of what they're ignorant of. "

" Being pretty was always a very big thing growing up. "

" I have always been scared of confrontation. My therapist says it stems from my fear of abandonment. "

" Sarah Silverman. She's the reason I do comedy. Her DNC speech was my favorite thing I ever heard. Sitting down with her and laughing would be incredible. "

" All my life - middle school, high school - I've always been worried what are people going to think. "

" I think people are afraid of the concept of open relationships. Like, 'I will not accept this.' They don't have to! No one is telling them to. But it might work for other people. "

" There's actually a thing called Wikifeet that's the Wikipedia of celebrity girls' feet. "

" My boyfriend and I are not good at fighting. We're better than we were when we started dating - two breakups and three years ago - but it's never come naturally to either of us. I have often wished we fought like I imagine Pink and Carey Hart fight. "

" I was inspired by people telling me I should be a comedian. I tried it and had a really good first set, so I was like, 'OK, I'll do this forever'. "

" Everything I write in my show is a collaboration with a team. "

" I wasn't a good-looking child. I got screwed out of the genetic deal. My sister looks like a model. I think that's why I'm a comic. I'm deeply insecure, since I was always feeling ugly. I wasn't a healthy child. I had poor self-esteem. That's why I need people's approval. "

" I nannied for a couple of months. The kids were super-funny; it made me wish I grew up in a comedy household. But nannying is demoralizing. I'm just not cut out for it. "

" Rob Thomas loves nothing more than for couples to go on dates, and he loves chocolates. Boxes of 20 chocolates. "

" Someone told me I looked like a young Tonya Harding recently, as if 'young' would soften the blow. "

" I'm so glad I'm not in college anymore. I'm so glad I'm not having kids. "

" The transgender bathroom thing - it's just so obvious that people are scared of what they don't understand. It's like, 'I don't want to deal with the fact that some people might have been born in the wrong body.' "

" Things end in this business. Shows get canceled, or you walk away from them - but most likely, things get canceled. "

" I'm in a relationship and have never been on Tinder as a single woman, but from what I have seen, I think it is always good to have a picture with an animal to show that you are kind. "

" I'm not a bleeding-heart feminist, but I do like to call out that stuff in my act. It's nice when you find a perspective that no one has hit on. "

" Up until recently, I've said, 'I don't notice the sexism in the industry.' "

" I knew what I wanted to do, so I was constantly working on material once I got to KU. "

" Make eye contact with cute strangers. Give guys your email. Email is safer than a number, or at least it feels that way. "

" Nothing really shocks me anymore. "

" The more you work in this business as a comedian, the closer you get to just being yourself onstage, on camera, the more well received you are. "

" Just sharing things that are either embarrassing or possibly relatable, searching for that laugh so that someone makes me feel less alone. Like, 'Oh, they laughed, so they get what I'm saying. "

" I would much rather be someone with high self-esteem and less funny. "

" I just got a new dog, so I was worried that he'd hate the fireworks, and he did, but just because he's not a patriot, not because of the loud sounds. The loud sounds he's fine with - he just hates America. "

" I remember thinking years ago about getting a half special, 'When you get that, that will be it. That will be all you need to feel validated in this world.' I feel like that special was just another set. "

" I've been doing stand-up for a few years, and I have a handful of fans just from stuff I've done, like 'Last Comic Standing.' And as a fan of stand-ups myself ... like, when I first discovered Sarah Silverman, I wanted to know everything about her life. "