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" Everything I write in my show is a collaboration with a team. "

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" Being pretty was always a very big thing growing up. "

" I'm in a relationship and have never been on Tinder as a single woman, but from what I have seen, I think it is always good to have a picture with an animal to show that you are kind. "

" Rob Thomas loves nothing more than for couples to go on dates, and he loves chocolates. Boxes of 20 chocolates. "

" I'm learning that if you put yourself out there and make fun of yourself first, it really does work. People can't really make fun of you. "

" A college degree was very important for them; it wasn't for me. So I picked English because I'm fluent. I thought it would be the easiest to do. "

" When I did 'Nikki and Sara Live,' I think a lot of the comedy got lost because we were always so worried about how we looked, and so was the network. "

" College is good discipline. That's what I learned there: pull an all-nighter, get it done, and get an A. I'm the biggest procrastinator, and I learned how to be an efficient procrastinator. "

" Just sharing things that are either embarrassing or possibly relatable, searching for that laugh so that someone makes me feel less alone. Like, 'Oh, they laughed, so they get what I'm saying. "

" I am a woman, so I never want to hide that or be like, 'I'm one of the boys,' because I'm not. I am aware of our audience. We always aim for the right combo of not hitting people over head but still getting our message across. "

" I just realized I have probably spent more time in a strip club than Rihanna has, and that is saying a lot because she goes a lot! "

" I remember the 'Jenny McCarthy Show' being kind of funny, and I remember her being just like one of the boys. I remember her being counter to everything I thought girls should be on TV, or whatever. I kind of liked her vibe. "

" The best stuff - the most interesting stuff - usually happens when I allow myself to be in the moment and working from that space. "

" My standup is years and years of me working things out on the road. I'm really proud of it! A lot of it is about, well... I don't know why I feel this way, but I feel like every special or show I do is some variation on how I feel like I'm not a girl, not yet a woman. "

" I've been doing stand-up for a few years, and I have a handful of fans just from stuff I've done, like 'Last Comic Standing.' And as a fan of stand-ups myself ... like, when I first discovered Sarah Silverman, I wanted to know everything about her life. "

" I was lucky enough to find stand-up really early in life. And I'm so grateful that I did, because the second I found it, I was like, 'I know what I want to do'. "

" Funny is funny. If it's funny enough to women, it will be funny to men. I think that's been proven by Broad City and Amy Schumer. They're killing it. "

" I don't know what that is because to me, Feb. 14 is Rob Thomas' birthday, and that's only what I acknowledge it as. I just like to celebrate that as Rob Thomas' birthday. "

" Some of my favorites include 'Walking the Room' and 'Never Not Funny' and 'FitzDog Radio', Greg Fitzsimmons' podcast. "

" Things end in this business. Shows get canceled, or you walk away from them - but most likely, things get canceled. "

" I nannied for a couple of months. The kids were super-funny; it made me wish I grew up in a comedy household. But nannying is demoralizing. I'm just not cut out for it. "

" I was inspired by people telling me I should be a comedian. I tried it and had a really good first set, so I was like, 'OK, I'll do this forever'. "

" The more you work in this business as a comedian, the closer you get to just being yourself onstage, on camera, the more well received you are. "

" People are just so insensitive because they're ignorant; they don't understand, so they're scared of what they're ignorant of. "

" Up until recently, I've said, 'I don't notice the sexism in the industry.' "

" All my relatives and friends have been pretty aware of my brand of humor for a while, so none of them have been shocked. "

" I like putting myself in uncomfortable situations. "

" I like guys with a sense of humor who smile a lot and are kind. "

" My boyfriend and I have finally learned how to embrace confrontation as something that will only help us as a couple. "

" It strikes me as pretty interesting and cool how girls support each other in this business. I've never felt so much support in my life than from my fellow female comedians. I attribute much of my success to some of them. "

" If anyone's going to bring about mass extinction, it'll be Donald Trump. "