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" Usually when you watch a film, you're just sort of biting your nails about things you could have done differently. "

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" Jon Stewart is exactly the same guy he's always been, only with money. He knows that the moment he really believes he's important, the funny goes away and he becomes Bill O'Reilly, except shorter and Jewish. "

" I think it's a shame when you come across young actors and musicians who haven't had the time to learn their craft. It doesn't matter if it's acting or music; you really have to learn how to do it from the bottom up because unless you have a great work ethic... fame is a terrible thing to have. "

" I learned a long time ago, if you want to keep your friends in show business, don't get famous. Because as soon as you get famous, a lot of the people you used to know, who didn't, become incredibly bitter and jealous. It's part of the territory. "

" It would be great if firefighters across the country had the guarantee that they would be making enough money to support their family right from the get-go, but that's not the case. "

" Stand-up comedy and comedy in general is the ultimate form of free speech, because you get to poke holes in all the pretentious bubbles politicians and pundits and popes and pretenders try to float over our heads. "

" You try to - you want to fly on both sides of the political fence because that's where the - where the comedy is. "

" I bought my daughter a Chihuahua and I fell in love with it. So now I carry Coco around with me all the time. "

" Kathy Bates is sexy. It's partly because of her talent, but she's got a great face, and a great laugh. "

" My biggest regret in life is that I didn't hit John Denver in the mouth while I has the chance. "

" I'm a pretty boring guy. Compared to Ashton Kutcher, I live a really boring existence. "

" I love Santa Monica and Venice because I like the beach. I have a lot of friends in that area. "

" There's no way around it - drama is very difficult to shoot. It's very heavy and something that you carry with you for the course of the day. "

" I'd love to do another television series. I really love the writing process, and as an actor I really like how much you get to examine in television. "

" The best thing about series TV is that everyone you work with is hand-picked, as compared to working on a film. "

" I want you to take away the hope because that's the thing that's killing me. "

" George Carlin was great right up to the end of his life. But Richard Pryor was probably the best, most gifted stand-up comedian who will ever live. "

" I believe in prescription drugs. I believe in feeling better. "

" I really, really like 'Eastbound & Down.' It's one of the few things that makes me laugh. It's almost too funny to get an award. "

" I actually like talking. "

" What firefighters and people in our military and cops do is separate from what the rest of us do; basically these people say, 'I'm going to protect all these strangers.' "

" I love America. "

" What's politically correct a lot of times is not funny. "

Politically Correct

" Nobody can make more fun of me than I already make of myself. "

" For us as writers, it's really important to have songs we believe in - even before sometimes we shoot a scene. If we have a song that's so perfectly designed for a scene on 'Rescue Me,' we'll play it on loud speakers during the shooting. It helps the cameraman and it helps the director, and it helps the actors know what the feel is. "

" I'm praying for 'Ice Age' 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10. Because I really think we can run those characters into the '60s, and I'm talking the 1960s, you know? The Civil Rights Movement. That's what I'm praying for, because then I wouldn't have to do anything else. "

" Once you have a firefighter in your family, your family and the families from his crew become one big extended family. "

" My brother and I tortured my mother growing up. "

" Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list. "

" Where I grew up, the basketball courts were rarely used. "

" I went to school with Steven Wright, who was the shyest guy I knew, and one day someone suddenly told me that he was in a club doing standup comedy. I went down to his club and he was great. Another friend of mine, who was pretty much a thief by trade, was hosting the show. So I thought, 'If these guys can do it, then so can I.' "