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" I'm a pretty boring guy. Compared to Ashton Kutcher, I live a really boring existence. "

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" I don't really have a lot of fun playing just straight good guys. It's not my thing. It's like Tom Hanks territory. "

" My dad was very much a John Wayne kind of guy, but he was also a great guy, great sense of humor, a real dedicated dad. I don't think he ever missed a hockey game I was in. "

" Kathy Bates is sexy. It's partly because of her talent, but she's got a great face, and a great laugh. "

" I fell asleep during 'Year One' twice. And my son, who never falls asleep during a Jack Black movie, also nodded off. That's how bad it was. I was incredibly disappointed. "

" Once you have a firefighter in your family, your family and the families from his crew become one big extended family. "

" I've always had a thing for Catwoman. Michelle Pfeiffer or Halle Berry in tight leather pants, with the boots - I'm pretty good with either one. "

" I really want to do a western film. It's one of my favorite movie genres of all time. "

" My goal is to leave this planet with the biggest carbon footprint I can possibly leave. "

" Nobody can make more fun of me than I already make of myself. "

" There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid. "

" If a character dies, you get to do a big, juicy death scene. But the flip side is you're out of the sequel, which is where the real money is. "

" I've eaten things that didn't complain this much. "

" Stand-up comedy and comedy in general is the ultimate form of free speech, because you get to poke holes in all the pretentious bubbles politicians and pundits and popes and pretenders try to float over our heads. "

" The best comedy audiences in the country and this is tried and true, I'm not just saying it, in my opinion are Boston, Atlanta, and Chicago. "

" Good actors, especially when they know their character, will come in and either tell you in advance that they have an idea, or in the middle of the rehearsal or the scene they'll let it loose and you go, 'Ah that's great.' "

" If I'm president, there are going to be government vans that drive around and pick up people who shouldn't be wearing certain clothing. Talk about lack of civil rights - I'm sorry, I'm pulling you right off the street, and we're giving you clothes that you're going to be O.K. in. "

" What's politically correct a lot of times is not funny. "

Politically Correct

" If you had no enemies, you had no fun. "

" I believe in prescription drugs. I believe in feeling better. "

" Science fiction was never my thing. I have no interest in it. So I don't think I could successfully pull off being on a project like that without really losing my mind. "

" I want you to take away the hope because that's the thing that's killing me. "

" Most people don't know how underpaid and often ill-equipped urban fire departments are across North America. "

" I don't want a president like me! I suck, okay. I want an elitist, smart guy. "

" There's not going to be a 'Rescue Me' movie. Not a chance. "

" The best thing about series TV is that everyone you work with is hand-picked, as compared to working on a film. "

" Firefighters don't go on strike. "

" Let me tell you something: I love the Yankees. And let me tell you why: because without the Yankees, there is nobody to hate. "

" My only worry about tweeting and modern technology is how it has crept into even the darkest corners of the absolute global village we live in. "

" I love America. "

" I will not bond. I will not share. I refuse to nurture. "