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" George Carlin was great right up to the end of his life. But Richard Pryor was probably the best, most gifted stand-up comedian who will ever live. "

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" My kids watch everything downloaded; they have no idea what the numbers or the names of the channels mean, except, 'FX makes the show that I see on my computer.' So it's harder to get a show on the air, but at the same time, there are a lot of terrific shows. "

" I basically - I don't like tattoos, unless you're a firefighter who has a tattoo that has to do with that or a military guy. That's - those are people who should have tattoos. "

" My father could swear in Gaelic and English, by the way, ladies and gentlemen. "

" Usually when you watch a film, you're just sort of biting your nails about things you could have done differently. "

" No matter what anybody says, relationships are based on physical attraction. The first time I saw my wife, it was pure animal whatever. "

" With any actor, if you know your character well enough, you'll know pretty much what he would say under any circumstance, or whatever situation might rear its head. "

" The first movie I saw where it convinced me I could be an actor was 'Mean Streets,' so whenever I see Robert De Niro and he says, 'Hi, Denis,' it's still a really big deal. "

" I think daycare is great for people who have to work two jobs. My problem is with people who are dropping kids off at daycare because they want to go out and spend the day golfing or getting their nails done. You know what I mean? That's not why they invented daycare. "

" If a character dies, you get to do a big, juicy death scene. But the flip side is you're out of the sequel, which is where the real money is. "

" Kids are incredibly expensive. But it pays off later when they are better educated, bigger, and better-looking than you. And find you incessantly boring and uncool. "

" The best comedy audiences in the country and this is tried and true, I'm not just saying it, in my opinion are Boston, Atlanta, and Chicago. "

" I would have to commit a crime and have cops chase me. That would be the only way to get me to jog five miles. "

" What firefighters and people in our military and cops do is separate from what the rest of us do; basically these people say, 'I'm going to protect all these strangers.' "

" I will not bond. I will not share. I refuse to nurture. "

" I'm still pretty self-centered, greedy and angry. "

" I'd love to play in a Red Sox game. It would be so awesome to actually walk out on the field and play, just for one inning. I'd also steal everything I could get my hands on in the clubhouse, which is why they won't let me do it. "

" Willem Dafoe and I are actually the same person. "

" I didn't raise my kids with the fear of God. "

" I don't really have a lot of fun playing just straight good guys. It's not my thing. It's like Tom Hanks territory. "

" Most of the women placed in the fire department here in New York never passed the physical test. And a fat guy or a short guy, or anybody not passing the test in a life-or-death job, leads to friction. "

" Hockey's my favorite sport. "

" My charity is in the business of helping firefighters in any way that we can. For instance, after 9/11 we were the second-fastest charity to raise and distribute money to the widows and surviving family members of the 343 firefighters who died that day. "

" I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with. "

" Science fiction was never my thing. I have no interest in it. So I don't think I could successfully pull off being on a project like that without really losing my mind. "

" I love French stuff. Mmmm, french fries. "

" I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor. "

" I really want to do a western film. It's one of my favorite movie genres of all time. "

" Bill Murray doesn't do anything. He barely shows up at the movies he says he's going to do. "

" There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid. "

" It would be great if firefighters across the country had the guarantee that they would be making enough money to support their family right from the get-go, but that's not the case. "