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" What would annoy the most people most often? That is the true left-wing test of government intervention. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Most
People
Test
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" America's public schools have served their purpose. Free and compulsory education was good for a somewhat unpromising young nation. "
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" There is no 20-year period in American history when stocks lost money. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Money
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" I like to argue with the radio. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Like
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" I usually agree with Rush Limbaugh; therefore I usually don't listen to him. "
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Agree
Rush
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" In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Death
Out
History
" The inherent purpose of American government is let people seek their own goals and to encourage them to be responsible on the various adventures they have on their way to those goals, good, bad, and otherwise. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Good
Goals
Purpose
" The idea of a stag hunt evokes chivalry - knights in jerkins and hose, ladies on sidesaddles with wimples and billowing dresses, a white stag symbolizing something-or-other, and Robin Hood getting in the way. An actual stag hunt is more like a horseback meeting of a county planning commission. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Hood
White
Meeting
" Israel is slightly smaller than New Jersey. Moses in effect led the tribes of Israel out of the District of Columbia, parted Chesapeake Bay near Annapolis, and wandered for forty years in Delaware. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Effect
Years
Out
" Detroit's industrial ruins are picturesque, like crumbling Rome in an 18th-century etching. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Like
Industrial
Ruins
" I spend my days kneeling in the muck of language, feeling around for gooey verbs, nouns, and modifiers that I can squash together to make a blob of a sentence that bears some likeness to reason and sense. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Days
Language
I Can
" Upbeat is for people who want to feel good about their cause: the reformers, the progressives, the revolutionaries, the utopians, the collectivists, and the rest of the altruistic scum of the earth. Why do these people want to feel good? They want to feel good in order to convince themselves that they are good. "
P. J. O'Rourke
People
Earth
Good
" A deadly sins addendum is long overdue. Life has changed since Pope Gregory the Great scribbled his initial list in the sixth century. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Long
Changed
Great
" Jimmy Carter was - he still - he remains to this day America's most ex of ex-presidents. You just can't believe that we elected this doofus. He was a bright enough guy and sort of well-meaning. But he was about as prepared to be president of the United States as your goofy old uncle, you know, the one that memorises baseball statistics. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Believe
Day
America
" The Tea Party has definitely increased political involvement, not only among Tea Party members but among people who oppose the Tea Party members. It's been a general stimulus. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Political
Only
Party
" Rich people don't like to be in the military. The shoes are ugly and the uniforms itch. Rich people don't go in much for revolution or terrorism, either. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Ugly
People
Revolution
" Now, do I think the baby boomers tend to be self-absorbed? I do. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Think
Baby Boomers
I Think
" I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Mom
Just
Irish
" Corporate corruption has ecological merits. It's helping to preserve that species known as Democrats - thought to be endangered as recently as the year 2000. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Year
Corruption
Thought
" Even the dumber parts of our government are not run by idiots. These are ordinary people like us, doing a job. By and large, they're trying to do it as well as they can. Or at least as often as people in the private sector try to do as well as they can. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Government
Doing
Job
" After the events of the 20th century, God, quite reasonably, left Europe. But He's still here in the United States. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Left
Here
United States
" Democrats hate success. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Democrats
Success
Hate
" When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. "
P. J. O'Rourke
First
Buying
Things
" The idea of capitalism is not just success but also the failure that allows success to happen. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Failure
Happen
Success
" You're not a baby boomer if you don't have a visceral recollection of a Kennedy and a King assassination, a Beatles breakup, a U.S. defeat in Vietnam, and a Watergate. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Baby
You
Defeat
" The idea of a news broadcast once was to find someone with information and broadcast it. The idea now is to find someone with ignorance and spread it around. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Someone
Information
News
" Arab-led Islamic fundamentalism destabilizes nations from Algeria to the Philippines. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Algeria
Islamic
Nations
" Politics is a necessary evil, or a necessary annoyance, a necessary conundrum. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Politics
Necessary Evil
Evil
" Once you've built the big machinery of political power, remember you won't always be the one to run it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Run
You
Remember
" War diminishes both civil and economic rights. "
P. J. O'Rourke
War
Civil
Both
" Arguing, in the sense of attempting to convince others, has gone out of fashion with conservatives. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Sense
Arguing
Fashion